Trump is playing war games as oil prices ride a rollercoaster

(Oil prices fall back).

If the Iranians don’t open that Strait of Hormones or whatever we are going to BOMB THE **** OUT OF THEM with our BIG BEAUTIFUL BOMBS. American bombs are the best, they really are. Bibi thinks so as well. We’re going to bomb our little hearts out and when we’ve finished there will be nothing left. It will make GREAT TELEVISION. We can build golf courses and holiday resorts on the empty spaces. Y’know, the British should have helped. I am very disappointed. The Iranians have even attacked those Chug-Chug islands that they’re giving away for nothing. I’m British myself, y’know. That was in the days when it was Great Britain. Now they just call it Britain.

(Oil prices skyrocket).

They could make it into a board game. They could call it Oh What A Lovely War, Trumpton Goes To Town, or Beyond Parody (which it is). The object would be to make money on the oil markets and avoid being turned to rubble. There would be a little counter for a Starmer figure who would drone (no pun intended) on about the rules while shuffling papers from one side of his desk to the other. The so-called United Nations might get to figure in a very minor way.

Cuba next. That’s a shame, because I’ve read that there are some nice buildings in Cuba, and tourists marvel at all those 1950s-style cars still on the road. Still, as George Harrison said, all things must pass.

Driving on the Shrewsbury bypass this week I was greeted by the disturbing sight of flags of St George and Union Jacks flying high from street lights.

What a dreadful first impression. People visiting Shrewsbury will think they’re coming to a positively medieval town. There was a big queue of traffic as it had all slowed in an abundance of caution for health and safety reasons, as at any moment one of those unauthorised flags could come adrift and obscure a road sign, creating confusion which could cause serious accidents.

I thought the leaders of Shropshire Council had vowed to put a stop to such nonsense and, following the emergency £190 million bailout to the council to stop it going bankrupt, they have a replenished flag war chest. Maybe they can’t get to the flags because of the potholes.

Nicky Campbell wrote a thought-provoking piece the other day about the nature of debate in modern Britain. I will attempt a broad summary of what he was saying.

In the old days of not so long ago British people would discuss and debate issues, sharing points of view and chewing over their differences.

Today British people hunker down in their ideological trenches throwing grenades at those of an opposing point of view who are treated as deadly enemies.

It strikes me that I sometimes say things in this column with which some misguided and brainwashed people might disagree. It doesn’t worry me because they’re obviously all dangerous extremists who should be locked up.

And actually, in modern Britain, sometimes are

Many thanks to the lady who rang in response to my difficulty in finding waterproof footwear that doesn’t let in water, who recommended a particular company.

She told me: “I have had two pairs in 20 years and it should only have been one as I slipped while walking my dogs and broke and dislocated my ankle and the only way they could get the boot off is cut it off. They’re 100 per cent waterproof, I can verify that.”

I would name the company, but due to advertising restrictions and no bung being forthcoming, I won’t.