Peter Rhodes on turkeys, technology and a TV clue laid two years in advance

Old salts' corner. The correct naval term for the hat band bearing a ship's name is, of course, a tally.

In my enduring attempt to become a more cultured person, I watched the English National Ballet production of The Nutcracker (Sky Arts). But it's no use. Every time I hear Tchaikovsky's Dance of the Reed Flutes, I am irresistibly reminded of Frank Muir's immortal renditions of the Cadbury advert. Own up, as the ballet wove its magic, how many of us were singing along: “Everyone's a fruit and nut case”?

At the lower-brow end of TV entertainment, Gavin & Stacey (BBC1) reached its finale, tying up all the loose ends of the past 17 fraught and frivolous years in great style. Whether this actually was the finale remains to be seen. However much TV executives enthuse about new talent and fresh ideas, the truth, from Last of the Summer Wine to Gladiators, is that they can't resist an old favourite. I wouldn't be surprised if Gavin & Stacey: The Finale #2 is already a twinkle in some TV executive's eye.

Why did the turkey cross the road? To make us think. A friend in Canada phoned at Xmas and, as he was chatting, a huge wild turkey crossed the road outside his snow-covered house. He snapped it on his smartphone and the image popped up on my PC, 3,000 miles away a few moments later.

What's vaguely disturbing is not that we possess such technology but that we take it absolutely for granted. Today we can beam images of turkeys across the Atlantic. How low long before we can send the whole bird?