Peter Rhodes on grey houses, puzzling cupboards and the dangers of applauding an advancing army

Why, dahlings, just look at the fake timber beams, the exposed brickwork and that huge stone arch in the lounge. And have you ever seen anything quite as naff as the “bizarre” room with three doors leading into huge cupboards? Thankfully, the Mail readers do not all join in the sneering.

Some point out that it's all a matter of taste and, frankly, it's rude to criticise other people's homes. Damn right. But I suspect at the heart of this London sniping is a simple matter of money. Love it or hate it, the well-presented and obviously cherished Wolverhampton house, enigmatic cupboards and all, is for sale at £310,000. And what might that buy you in London – a cupboard?

A number of readers referred to “boring, grey faceless things,” the homes favoured by so many of today's builders and buyers. Across the country, thousands of bricks-and-mortar homes have been re-clad in pale grey or pastels, like seaside chalets, sometimes with pebbled gardens of marram grass to complete the coastal look. How long before this 2020s marine fad comes to be as dated as stone-cladding? Still, each to their own.

Sometimes, a reader sends a message that is so compelling and concise that there's only one thing a responsible columnist can do: steal it. On the subject of President Joe Biden formally pardoning his son's crimes, a reader writes: “ If your son was facing a very long prison sentence and you had the means to prevent it, what would you do?” Quite so. Love makes hypocrites of us all.

As the anti-Assad rebels storm across Syria and we try to decide whether they're the good or bad guys, I find myself pleading to the TV screen as the “liberated” people openly rejoice. One brief videoed moment showing you celebrating the rebels' arrival is enough to earn you a bullet if the government forces return.

Considering the aerodynamics, I expected my solid timber panel fence to blow down in Storm Darragh while the slatted wooden gate would survive. In the event the fence survived and the gate blew off its hinges. One for you physicists.