Peter Rhodes on Empire-bashing, land-grabbing and the debt we owe to bats
The award for the most convoluted bit of Empire-bashing of 2023 goes to Exeter University whose new report on the decline in bat numbers concludes: “The northern and southern British populations have declined over several centuries, beginning about 500 years ago. This coincides with a period of widespread tree-felling to supply wood for colonial shipbuilding.”
Maybe so. But the decline of bats also coincides with the invention of the bicycle, the decline in organised religion, soaring demand for pit props and the rise of reggae. If you've got a political point to make, you can blame almost anything on anything.
As for “colonial shipbuilding,” the first task of the navy was to defend our shores, secure our borders and sink the Spanish Armada. If bats suffered, we should regard them not as victims but as plucky little allies in the fight against what Tennyson, in his poem The Revenge, called “these Inquisition dogs and the devildoms of Spain.” Clearly, bats deserve some sort of national memorial. The Tomb of the Unknown Bat? The Cenobat?
Meanwhile, isn't it fascinating to see leaders of the United States' Palestinian community condemning Israel for occupying their ancestral land? I wonder where in the States they live and what happened to the original occupants of the land that Americans now consider theirs. Modern Israel was built on other people's lands. Just like the USA.
Good to see Stourbridge getting recognition for happiness, pride and community spirit in Rightmove's “Happy at Home” list. I served in the TA with a unit divided between Stratford-upon-Avon and Stourbridge and I came to know the Stourbridge troop well. They were funny, unassuming and reliable although their Black Country dialect puzzled some of the Warwickshire lads. I recall a training session where a Stratford corporal demonstrated how to hold the sub machine-gun firmly into the right shoulder. A Stourbridge soldier interjected: “Ar, but worrif yowm kack-yonded?”
The Turkish football club president who punched the referee after a match last week, defended his actions thus: “My aim was to react verbally to the referee and spit in his face.” So that's all right, then.
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