Peter Rhodes on dentistry, grammar and things that go 'clink!' at Christmas

Have you noticed how many Christmas sounds are sort of clinky? There's the jingle of tiny bells, the gentle clatter of reindeer hooves, the heart-warming clunk of ice in your first festive ginger wine. And there's the one that greeted me a couple of days ago as I was brushing my teeth, the sudden sound of a filling dropping out of my jaw and into the sink. It went “clink!” A sink clink.

And then the waiting, a few anxious seconds to discover whether this is going to be a benign and painless parting of the amalgam or one of those root-exposing filling losses that hurts like hades. Thankfully, so far it's the former and I'm waiting to see if my dentist can fit me in before Xmas. Failing that, it's a DIY cavity repair kit from Boots or, worst-case scenario, the Englishman's traditional holiday home dentistry which involves half a bottle of Scotch and a pair of pliers. Oh, tidings of joy.

The Marriage Foundation charity reports that Generation Z (“GenZed”), the ones born between 1997 and 2012, are turning their backs on marriage and 60 per cent of them may never tie the knot. It's hardly surprising. In ye olden days if a woman wanted children and an income, she needed a man. But today's young ladies have grown up to prove the 1960s women's lib slogan: “A woman needs a man like a goldfish needs a bicycle.”

A majority of university graduates are now women and they tend to get better jobs than the men, and enjoy their independence. I dare say many of today's 20-something women, given the option, would be hard-pressed to choose between a goldfish and a bloke.