Peter Rhodes on cuckoo clocks, a vision of peace and ridding English schools of French
“Let's be more like Switzerland!” exclaimed one excited activist at the Lib-Dem conference this week. I had a momentary mental flash of the stunt-happy Sir Ed Davey flying out of a cuckoo clock pursued by a large wooden bird. Maybe next year, eh?.
Some years ago Mrs Rhodes and I stayed in the beautiful French region of Dordogne and sought refuge from the baking heat at an open-air swimming pool high above the town. Two French girls and a boy, all aged about 16, arrived and we looked forward to following their conversation and improving our colloquial French. Some hope.
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In the two hours we shared at that lido, the French kids never stopped speaking but we English grown-ups , each with A-level French to our credit, could not follow a single sentence. It was a humiliating reminder that the fumbling, faltering, grammar-obsessed “French” we learned in school bears no relation to the language spoken by anyone living in France or anywhere else.
I was reminded of that day this week with reports that a third of UK state sixth forms are no longer teaching foreign languages, with the West Midlands a particularly arid “language desert.” Despair not. I'm sure our schools can find something more important to spend their money on. Better first-rate maths than third-rate French.
Of course Hamas sees Britain recognising a Palestinian state as a victory. How could it be otherwise? Britain spent 1920-1948 ruling Israel under the UN Mandate. Nearly 20 years trying to make two lightly-armed tribes of Jews and Arabs live happily together ended in tears.
Today, thousands of deaths later, with Palestinians and Israelis armed to the teeth and a generation of Hamas militants thirsting for Jewish blood, Britain seems to be saying, let's try it again, folks . The two-state optimism is admirable but how many of us are reminded of Dr Johnson's description of a second marriage? The triumph of hope over experience.
After details emerged of Sarah, Duchess of York's friendship with sex-offender Jeffrey Epstein, she has been dropped as patron of Julia's house, a children's hospice. Maybe Fergie could launch a new charity promoting, for instance, the importance of choosing friends wisely.
Anyway, do not weep for Fergie. She will bounce back. She always does.
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