Peter Rhodes on celebrities, fame and imaginary friends in a crowd
Trawling through the coverage of the Reform UK conference in Brum, my eye fell on a reference to politicians greeting the audience with “thumbs-ups to imaginary familiar faces in the large crowd". Ah, yes, the imaginary familiar faces gambit.
Originally imported from the States (the Clintons were shameless practitioners), it involves walking on to a stage and, at first, waving generally at the sea of faces. But then you spot an old friend in the crowd. You wave straight at him, then point at him, then draw your spouse's attention to him, then you both wave some more. And the imaginary familiar faces gambit has worked its magic once again and created the impression that the politician has at least one pal in the world. Truth is, there never was a friend in the crowd, just a crowd being fooled.
Sparing no horrors in his description of running his pub, Jeremy Clarkson tells a harrowing tale of vomit, fist fights and a WC “pebble-dashed” by one incontinent customer. One of the mysteries of our society is that the retirement dream of thousands of Brits is to run their own pub. No, I've never understood it.
“Some of these so-called celebrities I've never actually heard of.” A 77-year-old villager reacting to the news this week that an estate in the Cotswolds has been acquired by Beyonce and her husband Jay-Z. I am happy to share in his ignorance.
Today's politics, TV, sport and movies churn out “celebrities” at a phenomenal rate. We are all supposed to know who is who and to subscribe to the silly belief that some dim but beautiful lad who makes a five-minute appearance on some dire reality show is, by some dazzling transmogrification, a “star".
At the same time, genuine stars, the ones who build a career over decades of public adoration, drop off their perches and straight into oblivion. Five years after the event, I'm still surprised at the memory of Only Connect (BBC2) in which not one of the six intelligent, learned, and dazzlingly perceptive contestants could recognise a photo of Max Bygraves.
Meanwhile, although we are all supposed to be fully immersed in women's football and its famous stars, how many of us could actually name half the Lionesses squad? A clue: none of them is Max Bygraves.
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