Peter Rhodes on blocking roads, trusting the Government and some great news for property landlords

JSO, a middle-class urban-revolutionary movement for people called Rupert, said of the rally: “This moment marks the success of the JSO campaign - our demand was to end new oil and gas licences and that is now government policy.” How gullible can you get?

Not so long ago, Government policy was to end the sale of diesel and petrol cars after 2030, ban the installation of new gas boilers and force landlords to improve the energy ratings of rental properties. In recent months all those measures have been quietly dropped or watered-down. Policy promises come and go like snowdrops yet JSO seriously puts its faith in Whitehall's latest pledges. Sweet.

Behold, the age of the perfect tenant has arrived. This is the tenant whose rent, council tax, utility repairs and maintenance are paid to the landlord bang on time and without quibble, for a guaranteed five-year tenancy. How can this be? The newcomer has probably arrived in Britain on a small boat.

Whitehall, through a private company, is recruiting hordes of landlords to let their properties to migrants. We can only guess how much worse Britain's housing crisis will become as thousands of landlords take no-risk, rent-guaranteed foreigners as tenants in preference to British people. We can also expect some U-turns in opinions as landlords, who occasionally tend to be a tad right-wing, discover this new treasure chest. “Migrants? Far too many. Mind you, that Somali bloke in our basement, he's a great lad. . .”

Statistics of our time. According to the latest figures, while more than 70 per cent of people aged over 65 still have a fully functioning landline phone, only 11 per cent of those aged 24 to 34 do. This is probably because old people understand old technology while young people don't see the point in filling your home with museum pieces.

In the same week, we learn that two-thirds of drivers aged 18 to 28 are so nervous of parking their cars that they ask parents or friends to help. We have raised a generation terrified of any unexpected bumps. I blame it on soft-close toilet seats.