Mark Andrews: Crispin's parties, 'positive' flags, and youth organisations without walls


Mark Andrews takes a wry look at the week that was
The things people do in service of their country.
Take Crispin Blunt, the former Tory MP for Reigate and one-time minister for prisons and youth justice.
So dedicated was Cris to his work, that he organised something called ‘chemsex parties’ to help inform the government on its drug policies. And people say politicians are only in it for themselves.
You hate to think what he would have got up to if they asked him to look at reforming the murder laws.
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I’ll confess I had never even heard of ‘chemsex parties’ until Mr Blunt appeared before Westminster magistrates this week.
But according to the Daily Mirror, so it must be true, they involve various group-sex activities, aided by the use of lots of drugs I have also never heard of.
When police raided one of these soirees, they found crystal meth on the bedside table, plastic bottles of a crystal meth and amphetamine mix, another bottle containing £200 of GBL in a laptop bag, and a bag of cannabis.
I’ve got statins and beta-blockers on my bedside table.
The court heard that Crispin imposed very strict rules at his parties, ‘he limited guests to one gram an hour of GBL’. One gram an hour? How long do these parties go on for?
His downfall came when one of his parties was attended by a builder ‘who was generous about his hospitality’ - the mind boggles - and later turned out to be a drug dealer with a sideline in blackmail.
And while druggies normally come out with a sob story about their deprived childhood or the death of their budgie, Crispy treated the beaks to a 30-minute address about why drugs should be legalised, and of course why Rishi Sunak was a war criminal for siding with Israel after October 7. A bit of Palestine creeping in there... love it!
All I can say is this has all the makings of a great new Mike Leigh play, reflecting on societal norms and etiquette in the 21st century. And a bit racier than Abigail’s Party.
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Sixth formers at Stourbridge’s King George VI college have decorated the town’s ring road with brightly coloured flags displaying ‘positive messages’ such as ‘Smiling is a positive action’, ‘Love grows’, and, of course, the ubiquitous ‘Be kind’.
I’m loath to knock the kids, who no doubt have put a lot of effort into it - although I do hope it hasn’t affected their school work - but I do trust that the grown-ups behind the project are equally vocal in encouraging young people to fly the national flag.
Because I don’t see how flying flags with Edison Lighthouse lyrics on them are ‘positive’ and ‘inclusive’, while displaying the Union Jack, which represents every single person in this country, is seen as divisive.
Maybe that could be the theme of a coursework essay.
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Interestingly, the flag project is run by something called ‘Powered by Can’, which according to its website is a ‘21st century youth organisation without walls.’
Flip me. Must get a bit chilly in the winter.
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