Peter Rhodes on public sobbing, diverse banknotes and a new take on Toad and Co
A friend who flew a lot once told me the only time you should be scared on an airliner is when the cabin crew start screaming. That's because, unlike the passengers, they know exactly what is going on, what to worry about and what to ignore.
Chancellor Rachel Reeves had a crying-crew moment last week when she burst into tears in the Commons. It wasn't any old politician who was sobbing; it was someone who knows exactly the true state of the economy. And if she's blubbing, we, the ignorant citizenry should all be joining in. (You may wish to bear this in mind if you ever see the Defence Secretary suddenly howling in the House).
The children's author M G Leonard has produced a new version of a much-loved classic: The Adventures of Portly the Otter - Untold Tales from The Wind in the Willows. Traditional fans may be horrified at any tinkering with the original storylines or the characters of Ratty, Moley, Badger, and mischievous Mr Toad. Yet judging from her Today (Radio 4) interview, Leonard clearly loves everything about Kenneth Grahame's immortal yarn; we should reserve judgment.
Meanwhile, I wonder whether Leonard will attempt to deal with Grahame's curious disregard of the characters' sizes. For example, in one episode Mr Toad is small enough to hang about with tiny animals. In the next he is big enough to drive a car, appear in a criminal court and fit into a washerwoman's stolen clothes. A shapeshifting amphibian. Most odd.
Yet not as odd as one online verdict on Toad fleeing justice, disguised in women's clothes. The website hails him as “a cross-dressing hero.” I wonder what Mr Grahame would make of that – or Mr Toad, for that matter?
The Bank of England has been accused of “wrongheaded wokery” for suggesting it could drop historical figures from banknotes to reflect “modern diversity.” Critics claim that inviting design suggestions from the public could mean the end of today's images of Winston Churchill, Jane Austen, JMW Turner and the code-breaker Alan Turing. The Bank declares: “It may be that we can get real diversity through a different theme than historic figures.” I have a mental image of the next £10 note showing Mr Toad cross-dressed as Mrs Pankhurst.
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