Peter Rhodes on a sub-standard snack, a horrible history and all you need to know about “trillion”
Harry Seager of Aylesbury had his 15 minutes of fame, hitting the social-media headlines by getting £2 compensation for a sub-standard Mars Bar after it emerged from the production process smooth, without the traditional rippled surface. Mars obligingly paid up.
I was reminded of the day some years ago when I purchased a Kit-Kat from the office vending machine and found the crunchy biscuit middle was missing. It was nothing more than a solid, Kit-Kat-shaped chocolate bar. I wrote to complain and duly received two perfect Kit-Kats as compensation.
That was when I discovered I much preferred the all-chocolate version. (If there are any vicars out there struggling for an Xmas sermon, feel free to use this. The Parable of the Imperfect Treat).
Incidentally, readers in the United States should note that Mr Seager's £2 compensation is not a misprint. In the States, I dare say compo for a defective candy bar starts at about a million bucks.
Terry Deary, author of the hugely successful Horrible Histories books, says he hates the British Empire “with a passion,” citing the brutal conflict between British settlers and the indigenous people of Tasmania. He's got a point.
Yet I found myself thinking of the TV adaptation of his Measly Middle Ages (you can find it online) which depicts the 1461 Battle of Towton as a comic, Batman-style animated punch-up.
Horrible Histories has been accused of trivialising history. It should be noted that Towton was the bloodiest battle ever fought on British soil. In a single day, about 20,000 soldiers were hacked to death or drowned while fleeing in panic.
So if the death of 20,000 Tasmanians is an appalling colonial crime, how can the slaughter of 20,000 Englishmen in Yorkshire be a bit of a laugh?
As national debts become bigger than ever, the word “trillion” is appearing regularly. It's an interesting word. As with “billion” which once meant one million million but now means one thousand million, “trillion” has changed its meaning from the original one million million million to one million million.
The ancient Romans conquered the known world without ever using the term “trillion”. I hope this clears things up.
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