Mark Andrews: Russell Brand’s fairweather friends, Putin’s magnanimous offer, and the dreaded D-word

Of course, he’s far from the only one to use this rather infuriating buzzword when talking about subjects which have nothing to do with logistics. Nobody seems to ‘do’ anything anymore, it’s always ‘deliver’. Every parliamentary speech, every local government press release comes with a liberal smattering of the ‘d-word’ - or sometimes its equally annoying cousin, ‘rolling out’.

The irony is, of course, that the only organisation that is not making bold promises about delivery any more is Royal Mail.

And now for the good news. Vladimir Putin is ‘willing to give it a try’ with European negotiators to find peace in Ukraine, thanks to some no-nonsense negotiations from Donald Trump’s son-in-law.

Which sounds a bit like Gripper Stebson in the headmistress’s study, offering to come to some accommodation with chubby Roland, after stealing his dinner money. Or Ronnie Kray offering the hand of forgiveness to the family of George Cornell.

I guess that’s the Art of the Deal.

I wonder how Russell Brand’s settling into his new digs? Wandsworth was last I heard, although there is speculation he might be moved to the ‘Monster Mansion’ in Wakefield. Well, they do say it’s friendlier up north.

Brand doesn’t seem to have many friends left now, though. A few deluded individuals on social media who think he is being punished because of his, ahem, alternative political positions, but it’s not their fault they’re daft. But all the celebrities and politicians who fawned on him over the years, hoping a bit of his vacuous stardust might rub off on them, have been somewhat silent.

Donald Trump, Ed Miliband, et al, not a lot to say on the matter, eh?

Hindsight, of course, is a wonderful thing, and you can hardly blame them for not knowing his dark secret. What I don’t understand is why anybody wanted to know the thoughts of a scruffy ex-druggie whose claim to fame was a few lewd comments on late-night television in the first place. Appearances on Question Time and Newsnight, columns in The Guardian, he was even invited into the House of Commons to offer his expertise on drug abuse. Why? The cult of celebrity makes people do stupid things.

Not forgetting, of course, The Trews, his online rants and conspiracy theories about the ‘mainstream media’, which a ready audience of gullible fans were all too quick to lap up. Remember that, next time somebody tells you they ‘get their news from social media’.