The Scottish pundit we never heard from

"FIXING the economy for everyone!" That was Ed Balls' war cry in his Conference speech. Well, he certainly fixed it last time, didn't he?

A QUARTER of a billion pounds goes missing from Tesco's accounts. No excuses. A reader points out that Tesco sells calculators, starting at £5.50.

HOW car insurance works (continued). A friend has changed address and bought a new car and is obliged to let her insurance company know about these two changes. But the "helpline" is constantly engaged and the insurer refuses to accept notification by email (can that even be legal?).

"TOP marks for your referendum predictions," writes a reader. How kind. As you may recall, I had been forecasting for some months that the No vote in Scotland would win a comfortable majority (it was 55 against 45 per cent) and that only about one in three of those on the electoral roll would vote Yes (it was 1,617,989 out of 4,285,323). Not bad, eh? However, given the track record of my previous political forecasts, I failed to put a bet on it. Shucks.

DURING the referendum campaign Alex Salmond was promising a Utopian Scotland full of freedom, equality, democracy and all that stuff. So you might imagine, when he resigned, that the choice of his successor would be a shining example of those three principles, with all SNP branches putting forward their best candidates for some sort of fair and transparent election process. Dream on. The job appears to have been reserved for Salmond's deputy, Nicola Sturgeon. It's all sorted, lads. Nae need for a vote.

INCIDENTALLY, why was the finest commentator on Scottish affairs kept off our screens during the campaign? Here was the perfect opportunity for the Rab C. Nesbitt Referendum Special, yet there was not a peep to be heard from Govan's premier street philosopher. Why no Rab? Did the Beeb lose its nerve?

HOW much longer can the Windows-fault scam keep going? This is the one where someone from "Windows Technical Support" phones to warn you they have found a fault on your computer. If you are daft enough to go along with their instructions, they will take control of your computer and insert a "fault" which you then have to pay £200 or so to cure. The scam has been going for years and is by now well known. Although the best advice is to hang up, you can have some innocent amusement with these crooks. Asking politely but firmly for "the password" throws them into confusion. Another wheeze is to pretend you are following their instructions and keep them talking for a few minutes before apologising profusely and saying you've switched on the toaster, or washing machine, instead of the computer.

BUT what happens if you simply call the "Windows" conman a liar, a thief and a crook and tell him his family must be ashamed of him? I tried this a few days ago. After some bluster, the scammer eventually lost his rag and yelled: "I am going to jam your computer! Enjoy the few seconds you have got left because I am going to jam it!" But he can't jam it. He doesn't even know where it is. All he has is a list of phone numbers and a script. Result.

GOOD to see His Serene Eminence Milord Prescott popping up at Labour's Conference . You can always rely on Prezza to warn that the grapes of wrath are coming home to roost, so we must all keep our feet firmly on terra-cotta.