Mark Andrews: The unfortunate return of Piers Morgan, the buzzword 'rolling out', and buying cars made in Britain

Remember the fury, back in 1991 when the Princess of Wales swapped her Jaguar for a German Mercedes?

A kick in the teeth for British workers was how it was presented at the time. MPs and trade unions were furious. Newspapers claimed Charles was dead against it, but eventually relented after Diana pestered him for weeks.

What a difference 30 years makes. Now the Royal Family has fully embraced imported motors with Charles himself regularly pictured at the wheel of an Audi. Which is rather sad.

Now it is reported that the Prime Minister’s armour-plated Jaguar could soon be replaced by a German BMW because the Midland manufacturer has suspended production of the XJ, its top-line luxury model.

This is simply not good enough. Could you imagine Mr Macron being chauffeured around in anything other than a large Renault, Citroen or Peugeot? Could you see Mrs Merkel turning up to state functions in a Hyundai?

Yes I know all the remaining British car manufacturers are now foreign owned, which is a national tragedy. But the British Government still has a duty to support what is left of our manufacturing base, and that means buying cars made in Britain.

If Boris – or the Metropolitan Police to be strictly correct – cannot buy a new large Jaguar, then maybe he should settle for one of the smaller models. Or better still, save a bit of money by making do with what he’s got until a new XJ is available. At least one of the prime-ministerial fleet is only five years old, so we’re hardly talking an old banger.

And if Boris really has to have a foreign car, there is only one acceptable choice. He should wheel his tatty old Toyota back out of storage.

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Motormouth television presenter Piers Morgan, who spends most of his days lecturing others about the coronavirus, has come in for, shall we say, a little bit of public chastisement after it emerged he defied government travel advice to spend Christmas in Antigua.

Personally, I’ve got no problem with him travelling to the Caribbean at all.

It’s the coming back bit that I’m not happy about.

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Great to see the Smutty Professor Neil Ferguson is back in the fold, giving more advice on how to tackle the coronavirus.

The man who terrified thousands of people with his forecast of half a million Covid deaths is now taking a more positive view of the situation.

He reckons the virus will have fizzled out by the autumn, and that everything will return to normal.

Best prepare for another lockdown Christmas, then.

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Of course, this week all the talk is about how the coronavirus vaccine is being ‘rolled out’.

Is there a government scheme these days that does not involve a bit of ‘rolling out’?

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I remember attending a council meeting about 20 years ago, when that horrible buzzword was in its infancy.

One of the honourable members caused much mirth in the chamber by talking at great length about rolling out a new policy on dog mess.

I hope she wore gloves.