Why we need to be less judgemental and more understanding

The truth is we don’t know anyone’s story, behind closed doors we don’t know what is happening, writes Sam Billingham

Founder of SODA Sam Billingham
Founder of SODA Sam Billingham

We judge people for not answering our calls or reply to our text message straight away. We judge a person for not making eye contact when they talk to us, we judge people for being late or not

turning up or not letting us know why. We judge people for never coming out with us when they say they will. We judge people for being late, always borrowing money or for wearing the same clothes.

We judge people who don’t turn up for work, who never send their children to school or never have enough money at the checkout. We judge our neighbours for screaming and shouting at each other, banging doors, waking their children who immediately start crying.

We turn a blind eye, sweep things under the carpet and think as long as it doesn’t affect me, I’m okay.

Are we living in such a self-absorbed world that we really think that way or do we react this way because we don’t know how to approach such issues? Are we too frightened to get involved in issues that we believe don’t concern us or is it because we don’t know how to react to a persons’ response?

How can we be so judgemental but yet show no empathy or understanding?

Is our judgement preventing people, friends and family from confiding in us. Is judgemental a barrier between them and us?

With judgement comes questioning and blaming, yet when we believe something we simply believe it.

Why do we minimise someone’s behaviour by making an excuse for it, they must have been tired or they had a bad day at work.

Do we do this because it’s easier for us?

1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience domestic abuse at some point during their lifetime yet our judgement will prevent us from seeing this.

We won’t notice our friends’ partner texting them every five minutes when we are out having a catch up, coffee and cake. Judgemental will tell us, oh what a lovely caring partner they have. Our

judgement will tell us our friend who has stopped calling us since getting with their new partner, no longer has time for us.

If there are no visible signs, we can’t seem to comprehend that it is actually happening. If we can’t see the scars but those it’s happening to can certainly feel them.

Judgement makes us criticise people when telling us things that they are going through, we indicate their faults, we disapprove and discredit them. We tell them it’s their fault.

We need to be less judgemental and more understanding. We don’t know anyone’s story other than out own, so we have no right to judge others on something we don’t know anything about.

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