You can't put a price on mother and daughter bond
Talking Point columnist Sam Billingham on the mother and daughter bond
I love my 12-year-old daughter unconditionally, the same way my parents loved me.
My daughter didn’t ask to be born but once I was pregnant I was excited, thrilled and felt it was a huge privilege.
Many women are not so lucky.
For me, being pregnant was an amazing experience and when I held my daughter in my arms for the first time, the surge of love I had for this bundle of joy was overwhelming and immense.
I was so in love.
Parenthood for me hasn’t been easy but one of the most important things that my daughter knows is that she is loved and I know that she loves me too, which makes me feel like the richest person in the world.
My daughter doesn’t have to pay me back for raising her.
I am her mother and it is my job and duty to raise her, it’s not her job to pay me.
She is growing up far too quickly and she ‘pays me back’ everyday by being who she is, by doing her best at school and by growing into a polite young lady.
My mum was the best mum ever who went above and beyond her motherly duties, we were best friends – not just mother and daughter.
When I left college, I had a job as a legal secretary so I was fortunate enough to be in a position where I could treat my parents to treats or maybe an extra special Christmas present.
However, this was through personal choice – I wasn’t made to do this.
I wanted to treat them to show my appreciation for all they did for me.
Parents shouldn’t go into parenthood expecting to be paid for it.
Parenthood is not about money it’s about making memories, bonding with your child and building up relationship with them without expecting anything whatsoever in return.
However, it is unfair to think we wouldn’t look after our parents in old age.
Without our parents we achieve nothing.
We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them and all they do for us.
I feel I have paid my parents back but not in a monetary way.
I call, I text, I visit, I spend time with dad, I go shopping with him, help where I can because I feel time is so much more precious than throwing money at a person.
Companionship is more expensive than money.
Isn’t it about the cycle of life, where we provide our parents with what they need and what they did for us when we couldn’t do anything for ourselves.
Parents should reap the rewards by instilling important values into them from an early age and watch them grow and flourish into caring adults who will pay them back with interest.
- Sam Billingham is a campaigner and runs Survivors of Domestic Abuse (SODA).