Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on bad-tempered politicians, things that fall off lorries and how to fold the EU flag

Read today's column from Peter Rhodes.

Published
Former Labour Party leader John Smith

Looking at the forecasts, it seems there is zero chance of a traditional white Christmas. It will be green, grotty, wet and windy instead. I blame the Tories.

And you definitely won't be having a white Christmas if you have a Whirlpool washing machine. My sympathy.

In a passionate defence of his former employers, John Humphrys, late of the Today programme (Radio 4) warns that “Boris's bullying makes me fear for the BBC.” And he recounts a series of run-ins with aggressive politicians, including John Smith, who died in 1994. These days Smith is often spoken of in awe as the best Labour prime minister we never had. But Humphrys recalls him spluttering with rage and yelling threats after an interview with “the impeccably courteous” Sue MacGregor. That's how I remember John Smith, too. I interviewed him only twice and both times he lost his temper with me. On the second occasion, he reached across the table, grabbed my tape-recorder and tried to switch it off. If things had turned out differently, this powder keg of a man might have had his finger on Britain's nuclear button.

John Smith's daughter Sarah is today the BBC's Scotland editor and sometimes presents Today. Funny how things turn out.

I was enjoying my morning stroll this week when the earth suddenly shook with a hell of a bang. Something had fallen off a lorry. It was a bolster. It is not fastened to the trailer. It must be secured with straps at all time. I know all this because it was written in large letters on the bolster, a hefty lump of metal used to secure long loads such as pipes and girders. If it had fallen on anyone it would have killed them. If a car ran into it, the car would be wrecked. The lorry driver did not stop. Maybe he didn't know what had happened or maybe he didn't want to face the consequences. A neighbour and I warned the approaching traffic and dragged the bolster out of harm's way. And I'm writing about it only in the hope that other lorry drivers may read this and make extra sure their loads are secure, if only to avoid spoiling anybody's Christmas.

Why make such a fuss about a little incident? Because I was once on the M6 when the lorry in front suddenly spilled a load of scaffolding tubes and shackles into a 70mph stream of traffic. You would not want to be there. Several cars were wrecked and, take it from me as a hard-boiled atheist, that the only reason nobody was killed or injured was by the grace of God.

A reader has sent me detailed instructions of how to fold the blue and yellow flag of the European Union. First lengthwise, then into a square, finally into a nice neat little triangle. Then drop it in the nearest bin.