Peter Rhodes on putting your faith in buses, rubbishing the English and what to wear in the air

A READER in his 70s decided last year the bus system was so good that he no longer needed a car, so he sold it. A few weeks ago, to his horror, he heard that his daily bus route was being "reviewed." Terrified of being stranded, he bought and insured a new car. In the review that followed, the bus company added two new services to the route. Volvo for sale . . .

SPARE a thought for James Mooney, a Scottish lecturer who was reported to the cops for a "hate crime" after texting his students he had told a group of Americans that the Scots don't really hate the English but they (the English) are w*****s. At first sight it's a gross libel on the English. But as any cinema buff knows, it's actually a line from the 1996 classic Trainspotting. And while the quote may abuse the English, it's actually a bitter, sorrowful lament for the Scots for allowing themselves to be "colonised" by w*****s.

NO police action was taken against the lecturer for words "meant in jest" but the incident raises an important point. If famous quotes from literature or the media are only known to half of the population, how do we treat the sensitivities of the other half? I might, for example, say something is rotten in the state of Denmark. This is not an attack on the personal freshness of Danes.

STRANGELY enough, on the very day that the Scottish row erupted, we bought the DVD of Trainspotting in a charity shop and watched it on telly. By another curious coincidence, the plumber called to talk about refurbishing our bathroom. Whatever you may think about Trainspotting, it certainly puts your own toilet issues into perspective.

I HAVE been around the world a bit, both as a civilian and a soldier. One thing you learn fairly quickly, if only for the sake of a quiet life, is to do exactly as you're told by the people in charge. It is their airliner, ship, helicopter, hot-air balloon, snowmobile, ferry or seaplane, so if they tell you to sit down, belt up, wear a lifejacket, adopt the brace position or jump with your parachute, you do it. And if cabin staff ask you to cover your exposed flesh, you smile politely and slip on a jacket, being aware that this is public transport shared with people from different cultures, faiths, ages and views on modesty. Student Emily O'Connor created a Twitter storm and hit the headlines for refusing to cover her "bralet" top on a flight from Birmingham to Tenerife. She says: "I stood my ground on principle." I'm not entirely sure what the principle was but, hey, she's only 21. Plenty of time to grow up.

AND talking of growing up, a little maturity about Brexit, please. Of course it's a bad deal. If it were a good deal the EU wouldn't have offered it. Brace up, press on.