Peter Rhodes on growing old gratefully, inflated degrees and why some estranged people like it that way

UNIVERSITIES have come under fire for handing out too many first-class degrees to undeserving students. But then when you have turned education into an industry, how can you attract a fresh wave of customers every year unless last year's uni-leavers are seen to be punching the air with joy at their results? The pressure is ever upwards and I bet it won't be long before a 2:2 grade, once regarded as "the gentleman's degree," becomes worthless and a new super-first degree is launched.

THE question is what sort of jobs are all these super-graduates expected to find? One of the tabloids, in a recent feature on cocktails, introduced us to a young barman described as "a top mixologist." Sounds like a PhD sort of job, doesn't it?

I CAN'T quite understand how Love Actually made it into the Radio Times list of the nation's top five Christmas movies. But I was curious enough, on the strength of the report, to watch it all the way through for the first time. Like suffocating in saccharin, isn't it?

A NEW book, Bolder: Making the Most of Our Longer Lives, urges the over-50s to relish "a golden age of ageing," with wearable mobility gadgets, computer-powered eyesight and positive thinking. Loneliness will be banished and old age will be regarded as a privilege, not a punishment. Well, we'll see. In the meantime I am reminded of my Yorkshire aunt who told me glumly in her 60s, 20 years ago, that "growing old's nowt." She is now approaching 90 and has not changed that bleak opinion.

A READER reports a curious moment with an elderly relative suffering from dementia who, in a moment of crystal-clarity in the mental murk, suddenly said: "You know, the more you forget, the less you have to remember."

THE alleged shoplifter who recently went viral because of his likeness to Ross (David Schwimmer) in the American comedy series, Friends, failed to show at court. I dare say the cops will have found him by the time this appears. Failing that, he may be in Nova Scotia with Gandalf.

THE estrangement of the Duchess of Sussex and her father Thomas Markle reminds me of all those letters newspapers used to receive in pre-Google times from people eager to track down old friends from their past. And I also remember a world-weary old chief reporter telling me that when one person is trying to find another person, there's a good chance the other person doesn't want to be found.

SKY News is congratulating itself on its online petition calling for an independent commission to ensure televised debates are held at general elections. The truth is that Sky launched this petition on September 24. Despite non-stop publicity for it at every Sky bulletin, it took until December 5 to reach the magical 100,000 signatures to trigger a debate on the issue in the Commons. That works out at a sluggish 1,400 signatures a day, from a UK population of 60 million. If that's overwhelming support, I'm Mrs Pankhurst.