Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on Serena's rage, how to make Brexit work and the real reason the Beetle is doomed

Before long, Brussels won't have a clue what we're up to.

Published
Michael Gove

WHAT'S the real reason for Volkswagen ending production of the legendary Beetle? According to one report: "It was out of sync with consumers in the US where bigger cars, including crossovers and sports utility vehicles, dominate the market." The reason our roads are dominated by enormous 4x4s is not because folk live in the outback or drive off-road. It's because people are getting plumper and can no longer squeeze into saloons. In the case of the Beetle, for "out of sync" read "too small for fatties."

RACHEL Treweek, Bishop of Gloucester says we should be "mindful of our language" in case referring to God as masculine alienates some people. She doesn't like the idea of young people hearing God constantly described as "He." The snag is that Jesus, the Bible and 2,000 years of Christian tradition all refer to God in male terms. But what the heck? The Church of England has moved so far from biblical teachings already that no-one's going to notice one more little change. Especially when hardly anyone goes to church anyway.

I WAS puzzled by the recent YouGov survey which found that 36 per cent of Christians thought God was male, one per cent thought God was female and 19 per cent "didn't know." Isn't it the gospel truth that 100 per cent don't know?

MICHAEL Gove says if Britain opts for the Chequers plan to leave the EU, a future prime minister might be able to amend it. Believe him. To see how that might work, look at the history of Ireland leaving the United Kingdom.

AFTER the 1922 Treaty the southern part of Ireland became the Irish Free State, self-governing but still part of the British Empire. In the years that followed, it slipped out of the Commonwealth and became a republic. Changing its name became fashionable, possibly to confuse the bloody Brits. At various stages it was known, formally or informally, as the Republic of Ireland, Eire, Erin, the Irish Republic, Southern Ireland and finally plain Ireland . The Ireland of today bears no relation to the Free State, just as the UK of 2050 will look nothing like the UK that leaves the EU six months from now. Get out, move on, keep changing our name. Before long, Brussels won't have a clue what we're up to.

THE Serena Williams incident rumbles on with umpires demanding union protection and assorted pundits interpreting it as racism, sexism or even the legacy of slavery. Yet in this spat, was the colour or gender of the protagonists relevant? It looked to me like workplace bullying. A rich and famous woman threatened an official who was doing his job to the best of his ability. It simply reeked of entitlement. And if you doubt that, just re-run this scene in your head. Imagine that this incident involved a raging white male tennis superstar haranguing a small black female umpire. Where are your sympathies now? Exactly where they should have been all along. With the real underdog.