Express & Star

Mark Andrews on Saturday: Bad sorts at Pimlico, Pricey surgery, and a Cop-out in Glasgow

The latest musings from Mark Andrews.

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The artist formerly known as Jordan

Don't the kids at the Pimlico Academy in London sound a delight?

A mutiny has broken out since the new headmaster introduced a few, pretty mild, restrictions to the uniform. Girls were told not to wear revealing clothes, boys not to sport facial hair, and all pupils to have sensible haircuts and lay off the bling.

They are also complaining there is not a special uniform for 'non binary' pupils. Although you can bet that if there was one, they would be protesting about that too.

"We as students have the right to express ourselves however we choose," the youngsters said in a statement. They're not half going to be in for a shock when they have to make their way in the real world, are they? See how far 'expressing yourself' gets you in the office or factory floor.

Trouble at Pimlico Academy

The 'students' as they like to call themselves, are also demanding that they shouldn't have to learn about kings and queens in history lessons. They have daubed the schools walls with graffiti, walked out of their classes, and set fire to the Union Flag on the school mast. Some of the teachers are now threatening to walk out in sympathy.

According to its last Ofsted report, the school is rated 'outstanding'. Makes you wonder what the bad ones must be like.

Opinion polls show Rishi Sunak's recent increase in corporation tax has been viewed quite favourably by voters, far more so than his decision to freeze income tax allowances.

No surprise there. After all, if we must have extra taxes, why not let the bosses pay for them?

Trouble is, if a rise in corporation tax leaves, say, a £300,000 hole in your employer's finances, where do you think it will get the money from? Probably by sacking half a dozen shop-floor workers. And suddenly a few extra quid in income tax doesn't sound quite so scary after all.

Every time you switch BBC News on at the moment, somebody seems to be talking about 'vaccine nationalism', which is presumably a bad thing. Because nationalism is always a bad thing, unless it's Scottish, Welsh or Irish, right?

Katie Price, the bankrupt artist formerly known as Jordan, has splashed out on her 12th 'boob job', as the tabloids like to put it. Which will come as a great comfort to all the people she owed money to.

Remember all the excitement about the Cop 26 global warming conference in Glasgow, and how it was going to be the biggest summit the UK has ever hosted?

Well the latest suggestion is that it could be held by video conferencing because of the Covid restrictions. So it won't really be in Glasgow at all.

The Taiwanese authorities are complaining about a glut of young people changing their name by deed poll after a sushi bar offered free meals to anyone called Salmon.

Explains a lot, I always thought it was fishy that all the Scottish nationalist leaders appeared to be named after seafood. And if they'll do that to save a couple of quid on their lunch, it's no wonder they're fighting like piranhas at feeding time.