Express & Star

Mark Andrews on Saturday: Annoying adverts, trouble brewing and a highly charged debate

Read the latest musings from Mark Andrews.

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Something says they aren't that big on builders' tea at Broadcasting House

A commercial for a German pharmaceutical giant, featuring an elderly man weight training so he can lift his grand-daughter up to the tree on Christmas Day, has been voted the most heart-warming festive advert this year.

Then again, the only Christmas advert I can recall from recent weeks involves the endless repetition of the inane slogan "You're good to go."

Which doesn't set the bar terribly high, does it?

The BBC is in hot water after spending £83,000 on tea and coffee over the past year.

Some have dismissed this as a storm in a teacup, but the real burning question is surely not about the cost, but what type of tea and coffee they drink in Auntie's ivory towers.

I have long been convinced that pretentious hot beverages are at the root of almost everything wrong with the world today. The worst ideas come always come from people who sip on skinny lattes or camomile brews.

And something tells me they aren't that big on builder's tea in Broadcasting House.

A company in Japan is now making super-realistic face masks

A Japanese retailer has come up with a new take on the face mask by creating hyper-realistic ones that exactly replicate a stranger’s features.

I've ordered mine already, it's a perfect copy of Hillary Clinton, which I will wear every time I'm out in public.

It won't offer any protection against the virus. But it won't half help with social distancing.

Electric cars are boring

It finally looks like a deal with the EU has finally been reached, but they certainly took it to the wire. There were even reports of a last-minute row over Britain's plans for the electric-car industry.

No great shock there, it’s always been a highly charged issue. And I’m sure they worked flat out to sort it.

But of all the things to pick a fight over, electric cars never seemed like a hill to die on.

I know they are banning the sale of new petrol cars in 10 years' time, but let's face it, electric cars are boring. For example, Jaguar has built plenty of beautiful cars in the past, but does anybody really lust after an I-Pace hatchback?

Making electric cars desirable will be a far more effective way of persuading people to make the switch than any punitive legislation.

And my real fear about the ban on petrol cars is the impact it will have on some of the most environmentally friendly motorists of the lot – classic car owners.

Because as petrol cars become scarcer, petrol stations will also become few and far between. And given that most classics do tiny mileages. their impact on the planet is negligible.

But if we have to start driving 30 miles every time we need to fill up, that is not going to be good for the planet at all. Particularly if like me, you have one that does 10mpg.

Of course, we won't get much sympathy from the hair-shirt brigade. But think how good it would be for the polar bears if everybody made their cars last 50 years.