Mark Andrews on Saturday: Mangled lingo, Twittering Trump and clap for Santa

Read the latest musings from Mark Andrews.

Key worker
Key worker

So now it's the 'firebreak', following hot on the heels of the 'circuit breaker' as the latest buzzword to come out of the coronavirus pandemic.

At least it is at the time of writing. By the time you read this, some politician or bureaucrat will probably have come up with another ghastly piece of terminology which they no doubt think makes them look terribly clever.

We have probably got to accept that 'lockdown' has become part of our lexicon, although prior to the coronavirus it was only ever used in over-the-top American films, and even now nobody really knows what it means.

But why do people now start referring to rubber gloves and face masks as 'PPE'? Do they secretly hanker for the life of Keith Lard, the self-important health-and-safety officer out of Phoenix Nights?

Every organisation with stickers on the floor now describes itself as 'Covid-friendly'. I don't know about you, but I prefer businesses that are Covid unfriendly, let's all be as unwelcoming to that horrible virus as we possibly can.

Then we have the 'new normal', which seems to apply to anything and everything Covid related. Every sentence is now preceded with 'in these challenging/testing/extraordinary times' and I think I will probably scream very loudly the next time a faceless corporation declares 'we're here to help' as it tells me all its staff have been furloughed so I'll have to view the company website.

There is a saying that truth is the first casualty of war. And it looks like the English language has also become a casualty of the pandemic.

It looks like Nicola Sturgeon, the superannuated county council leader north of the border, has finally done something positive and constructive.

While those more cynical than myself might consider Miss Sturgeon an opportunist who will jump on any bandwagon to sow division, she has won me over now she's finally found a cause we can all unite behind. She has declared Father Christmas a key worker.

Clap for Santa everyone. As long as he wears a mask.

The Birmingham Commonwealth Games committee proudly announces that the 2022 Games will be the first in history where there will be more medals awarded to women than men.

"This will see the Birmingham 2022 Games go one step further than the Gold Coast Commonwealth Games in 2018, when there were an equal number of medals for women and men," says a statement.

But why the need to go further? The Gold Coast was a triumph for fairness and equality, where both sexes were treated equally. Now we're supposed to celebrate the fact that inequality has been restored.

Or are some inequalities more equal than others?

Donald Trump – hacked off?

Donald Trump's spokesman denies a Dutch hacker's claim that he managed to log into the President's Twitter account by guessing his rather obvious password, maga2020.

I think the Donald needs a new media advisor. It if were me, I wouldn't be telling him to deny he had been hacked. I'd be blaming the hacker for pretty much everything he has posted over the past four years.

Most Read

Most Read

Top Stories

More from the Express & Star

UK & International News