Andy Richardson: 'Covid looks likely to end in tiers'

Because driving his Pope-mobile through massed crowds, enjoying an Evita – or should that be Covita – moment on the balcony isn’t really public. Oh no. Not in Don’s world.

The Don is skipping the next presidential debate, saying he doesn’t fancy the idea of it taking place online. And who can blame him? While his style is to filibuster and insult Joe Biden’s kids – rather than dwell on, um, policy – the mediator could simply press mute. And then where would he be? Raging into the void at his own madness. That’s where. There’s no news on whether he’ll have to take a drugs test or account for the steroids. Nor, indeed, is he saying anything about whether he’s finally testing negative for Covid – though it appears half the West Wing has gone down with Covid. Oops.

• See the latest coronavirus news for the Midlands and Staffordshire here

• See the latest coronavirus news for Shropshire and Mid Wales here

More importantly, however, is this: Where’s Melania? No helicopter, no steroid injection, no salute on the balcony. She didn’t even get to wave through the window while staging an unhealthily conceived photo-op. Gah. And they call this the era of equality.

Boris has finally given up the ghost with Parliament. Having been ticked off for creating policy on the hoof, without consulting elected MPs, it’s time to put his feet up. Allegra Stratton is the Number 10 spokesperson who will Presidientialise the Prime Minister. Boris can get on with more important stuff, like shielding Dom, taking Wilf for a walk or going for a jog, while Cambridge graduate Stratton can take the heat from the BBC’s Laura. She’ll be busy.

Covid is the greatest peacetime crisis since the Second World War. It’s going to be followed by the greatest economic turndown in 300 years. And that’ll be followed by a Climate Emergency.

Indeed, Allegra may soon be running the Government. Press leaks on policy have become the norm during Covid as Ministers test public opinion by leaking stories to the newspapers, rather than debating them in the Commons.

Covid looks likely to end in tiers from Monday. We know this because it was leaked earlier this week. Circuit breaker local lockdowns appear not to be working and the Government is ready to go further. Local decision making, however, is out. Mayors are having meetings with ministers who refuse to tell them anything, then leak it through the press later on.