Express & Star

Andy Richardson: 'Promises and pie crusts were made to be broken'

In a successful negotiation, it’s sensible to find common ground.

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Boris Johnson

Brussells might have thought it had done that with the Brexit divorce bill. It was, after all, the basis upon which Boris Johnson won the 2019 election.

We had an ‘oven-ready’ deal, he said.

On December 19, he stood in front of the Commons and declared it time to peel back the plastic wrapping. In November he told the British public he was proud of the deal. In October, he told the Commons we had an excellent deal, a great deal. Fast forward to January and it was a wonderful deal with zero tariffs. On another occasion, last November, it was a great deal for this country. Back again to January and it was an all-singing, all-dancing free trade agreement. There’s more, but we’ve wasted an entire paragraph on BoJo’s bluster.

It was Jonathan Swift who said promises and pie crusts were made to be broken and that’s been a feature of Boris’s personal and political life. No surprises, therefore, he’s started sabre rattling over Europe. There are three key issues to resolve: fishing, who resolves disputes and Government subsidies. The gap between our European allies and partners is relatively small. A failure to get a deal would be like Lewis Hamilton starting first on the grid in the fastest car and finishing last.

BoJo’s modus operandi is to play hardball and get away with what he can. This time it’s different, he’s declared. Yeah, right. Our European partners have shrugged their shoulders, lowered their estimations and declared his threats meaningless. We just look silly.

Brexit and Covid are the Blur and Oasis of the news agenda. And while it’s been a good day for Blur, Oasis aren’t done. The furlough scheme paid out £3.5 billion in fraud and error, which is like adding a half pence to income tax. Ouch. As the transmission rate rises, particularly among young adults, the true cost of Covid is clear.

With Blur and Oasis fighting it out, there’s only one thing for it. It’s time to get down on our knees and label perfume-y weeds in Plymouth by making chalk marks on the paths. That’s what the Rebel Botanists are doing as women of a certain age demonstrate their passion for plants. The city council, incidentally, thinks it’s a wonderful way to engage, educate and inspire. Perhaps Boris could do the same thing with Europe; get down on his knees and draw them a few pretty pictures.

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