Express & Star

Andy Richardson: Government making it 'app' as it goes along

From Bournemouth to Brighton, from Skegness to Scarborough, the beaches are full.

Published

Though the weather is due to break, scenes from the seaside provide an answer to the following question. Is anyone listening to Boris’s appeal to maintain one metre-plus? Answer: No.

With eight days to go until the pubs re-open, what are the prospects of us maintaining social distance when we’ve had a few? About the same as Robert Jenrick going quietly.

There are an estimated 33,000 cases of Covid-19 in the UK and the Government’s track and trace system is reaching about 10,000 – or, to put it another way, it’s missing two thirds.

MPs have told the Prime Minister that there must be a way to trace more cases – but the Government is making it “app” as it goes along. Risks are not being properly assessed and concerns are being brushed aside.

We are back to where we started – and look how that turned out: the world’s worst economic hit and about 65,000 deaths, three times the number that scientists forecast, and one of the worst death rates on the planet. Still, at least we’ll be able to order a shandy from next weekend. Sorted.

We need not worry. While some have had a good war – Matt Hancock, Rishi Sunak, Piers Morgan – and whodda thunk those three would ever be grouped together, others are adept at pouring trouble on troubled waters.

Care minister Helen Whately laughed during a TV interview earlier in the pandemic, oversaw catastrophic levels of mortality in the care homes for which she’s responsible, then told Sky’s Kay Burley things could be pinned on the scientists. She’s now singled out student nurses, saying they’re ‘not deemed to be providing a service’. Cue Britney’s ‘Oops! ... I did it again.’

Wasn’t it her Government that asked student nurses and retired NHS staff to step up to the plate when Covid-19 was at a peak, to ensure our NHS wasn’t overwhelmed?

Still, why worry. America’s chlorinated chicken is heading our way before we can say Brexit and if we thought it’s been hot, we ain’t seen nothing.

It’s been 38 celsius at the Arctic – which is more than 100F and is enough to fry an egg. As the ice caps melt, the planet warms and sea levels rise, another explainable disaster is just around the corner. Pity the poor penguins.