Express & Star

Andy Richardson: 'Jacob sending MPs back to Dark Ages'

It’s back to school and back to work. That’s the nation’s direction of travel. Although at times like these we can be thankful we’re not MPs.

Published
MPs queuing to vote

Queuing as though they’re in the B&Q Boxing Day Sale, our elected representatives have been told by Jacob Rees-Mogg to do a 40-minute conga – or, Monga, as we prefer to call it – every time they wish to vote.

It means democracy is for the young and able-bodied, not the elderly, vulnerable or disabled. While the nation is switching on to home-working and new technology, Jacob’s Monga is sending MPs back to the Dark Ages.

Science is now out of the window.

Four chief medical officers vetoed the Government’s plan to reduce the threat level from four to three but ministers went ahead anyway. Using the word ‘transitioning’, they told us we were between stages four and three. It’s nonsense, quite obviously. If a man hasn’t washed the car, can he now claim to have done it because he’s transitioning between the sofa and the bucket and mop?

No. It’s another Government fudge. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that – civil servants advise and ministers decide, though ministers must take responsibility if things go wrong.

Neil Ferguson, aka Professor Lockdown, says Sweden has joined Britain at the top of the morbidity table. Funnily enough, it also had one of the most laissez faire approaches to Covid-19.

Ferguson believes UK cases will remain steady until September as they spill out of hospitals and care homes into the community.

It’s a sobering thought, we can get back to work and school but Covid-19 is not defeated. Physical distancing will become a way of life.

For some, of course, that means living the youth they never enjoyed.

Those who were too nerdy to get drunk in the park at the age of 14 are now meeting friends in order to consume alcohol. It’s the teenage life they never had as they hit middle age.

While Covid occupies British thoughts, America burns.

Though some British MPs seem less sympathetic than others. A constituent of New Forest MP Sir Desmond Swayne asked him to condemn US President Donald Thump.

In his response, published on Twitter, he said: “Sorry to disagree. Arsonists and looters have it coming.” New Forest ponies were more sympathetic.