Attitudes change but love stays strong for couple 50 years on
‘I was working in my shop and before I knew it, he was looking through the window at me’.
John Everill describes the moment he knew James Ingram was interested in him after the two had passed each other in the street and smiled.
The couple have been celebrating their 50th anniversary of meeting each other on Bearwood Road in Smethwick, a meeting John said was unusual in terms of how they were dressed.
He said: “I was working in a wallpaper shop, all dressed up to the nines, whereas he was on a building job, wearing overalls and covered in sand.
“That certain smile helped us to talk to each other and, six months later, we moved in together.”
John spoke about the change in attitudes towards gay people over the last 50 years, saying: “I really do believe society has changed in that time and the way people express themselves is very different to how we were back in the day.
“In 1970, we kept it to ourselves pretty much and, if we went out, it was with a smart, dark suit, a white shirt, collar and tie, which was the uniform of the time.
“We had to behave ourselves wherever we were, whereas today, it’s a case of ‘well, I am, so who cares?’, which we find a bit edgy.
"We’ve travelled the length and breadth of this land and we’ve had a lot of people think ‘are they’, but we left them with the mystery, which is what gained us the respect today.”
The two men, who had lived in different parts of Birmingham, eventually bought their first house in Harborne in the late 70s, before moving to Dudley in the early 90s and Tipton a few years ago.
Both men continued working, with John running a florists and James continuing to work as a builder, before both spent time in retirement running the Tipton Spiritualist Church until 2003.
The 86-year-old John said he and 80-year-old James had planned to celebrate their anniversary with a garden party, matching what they did for a reception after their civil partnership in July 2006.
However, they were forced to cancel their plans after lockdown restrictions were put in place, with John saying there would be a quieter and smaller family event at his sister’s home in Lichfield.
Having been together for so long, John said the relationship was based on mutual support and being able to give and take.
He said: “We have been together for so long that we’ve just moved along and got used to each other’s foibles over the years.
“We haven’t fallen out once during lockdown and we know that love will always shine through.”
