Darren Danks: How to love yourself

We all know what we should and shouldn’t be eating to stay healthy. We all know we should be exercising in one form or another to stay fit. But how many of us really stick to those ‘knowings’? How many of us continue to eat junk, not exercise and then berate ourselves for doing so? It’s time to start showing ourselves love.

Ask anyone on the street who they love, and you’ll get answers such as ‘my partner’, ‘my family’, ‘my friends’, but very little, if any, would say ‘ME’.

Actually, saying themselves probably wouldn’t even enter their head, but when you want to make changes to your life, your health and your fitness, loving yourself is massively important.

Imagine seeing a friend or family member you love, not looking after themselves to the point that it’s causing them to become ill. Would you stand by and let them continue down that road? Or would you try to help them? Of course, you would try to help because you love and care about them. So why not do the same to yourself?

Loving yourself is key to becoming a new you, yet it’s one of the hardest things we find to do.

Whenever you want to eat those crisps, that chocolate, or any of that junk food that you know you shouldn’t, ask yourself: “Is eating this showing myself love and care?”

The answer, if you’re being totally honest with yourself, is no.

Once you begin to love and accept yourself as the amazingly wonderful person you truly are, your choices will change, your thought processes will change and as a result of those differences, your whole life will begin to change in a very positive way. And yes, your health will also change for the better.

But as ever with these things it’s often easier said than done. How do you love yourself when you don’t necessarily feel it inside?

It’s not an easy thing to do, but the effort that you will put into developing self-love is worth the multitude of benefits. Here are three tips to help you to begin appreciating and loving yourself.

1Take time out for you. How many times do we truly take time out for ourselves? Many of us, if not most of us, do anything and everything for others but neglect our own needs. These could be having a relaxing pamper, some meditation time, going to watch a film or anything that shakes off the normal routine and gives you permission and time just to be ‘you’. It may only be 30 minutes each day but you could make those 30 minutes to be the most relaxing and loving time to yourself.

2 Appreciate you for the wonderful person you truly are. We seem to put loads of energy and effort into telling ourselves that we’re not good enough, thin enough, tall enough, smart enough, rich enough, the list goes on and on. But how about putting effort and energy into recognising and appreciating everything that is good about yourself? ‘I have fat thighs’, could be replaced with ‘I have a nice waist’, or ‘my hair is amazing’, or ‘my skin is so soft and lovely’. Begin to focus on what you LIKE about yourself instead of what you don’t like, whether it’s your appearance, things you’ve achieved in your life (there’s much more than you initially realise) or how you help others. There is ALWAYS something to love about yourself.

3Affirmations. This ties to the second tip. Affirmations are statements you tell yourself over and over to lift you up, motivate yourself, help you achieve your goals and most importantly, LOVE YOURSELF. There are SO many affirmations you can use, you simply repeat them and feel them each day and over time, they will lift you, help drive you forward and help you feel amazing. They can be done in the morning when you get out of bed, or at night before you get in bed, or even both. The biggest one with regard to this article is ‘I love you’ or ‘I love myself’. When you say it really feel it in your heart. Another could be ‘I am an amazing person’. The key is to really feel these statements in your heart and body when you say them. The more you start to use affirmations in your daily life, the more you’ll start to see wonderful changes in your life. You may feel a little uncomfortable or embarrassed to say them but those feeling will subside quite quickly and you’ll be feeling that self-love in no time.

When you start to practise self-love and self-care, those dietary decisions will begin to become easier because you’ll start to realise that the junk food isn’t showing yourself love or care, it’s showing yourself quite the opposite, and who wants to do that to themselves? You deserve to be loved by YOU, don’t deny yourself that gift.

l Darren Danks is a mindset and life coach, also known as ‘The Coaching Geek’. He helps people realise their potential, follow that spark in their heart and reach their dreams. Darren writes a blog on his website www.darrendanks.com and can be found on many social networks as ‘The Coaching Geek’. Contact him through his website and on his Facebook page.