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Yow 'avin a loff?: Search is on for best Black Country gag

By James Vukmirovic | Black Country Festival | Published:

IT’S a region full of humour – and now there’s a chance to show off your best jokes with the rest of the Black Country.

Assistant librarian Elizabeth Whitehouse reads some of the entries in the competition

One liners and tall tales have been the bread and butter of generations, many being shared in workplaces and pubs across the region.

And they have fed into a tradition of humour that has produced some of the best comics in the country.

Six of the best jokes for starters:

  • Aynuk and Ayli go into Dudley Zoo and climb in the Lion’s enclosure. They grab a lion each and start doing a foxtrot. The lions fight back and both men barely escape with their lives. Sitting by the cage, breathing heavily, Aynuk turns to Ayli and says: “I doe think much of this loin dancin’!”
  • Aynuk and Ayli were sat on Bondi Beach in Australia when a big sun bronzed Aussie comes by with a surfboard under his arm, Ayli says to Aynuk “weers e gooin with that plank”, Aynuk says, “that ay a plank it’s a surfboard”, “What’s it for” says Ayli, “Yo watch” says Aynuk. The Aussie jumps on the board and paddles out, he catches a huge wave which knocks him straight off and dumps him and the board back on the beach in a big heap. Ayli says to Aynuk “what did yo say that plank was called” “It ay’nt a plank” says Aynuk “it’s a surfboard” Ayli says, “well it doe look very serf to me”.
  • Ayli, Aynuk and their mate Noddy Holder go into Beatties and Noddy says to one of the assistants, “I’m re-forming Slade, I want to buy some new stage clothes. I need a pair of flared trousers, a wide collar shirt, platform boots and a mirrored top hat. “Kipper Tie?” asks the assistant “Oh thanks” says Ayli and Aynuk “2 sugars and milk please.”

  • Aynuk and Ayli fishing in the canal: “Me mates fell in the canal !!!” “Owd it appen? “ “I just took a bite ov me sanwich an the mate fell out.”
  • Aynuk: Wots the difference between a buffalo and a bison Ayli: Dow now mate Aynuk: You cor wash yer onds in a buffalo

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  • Ayli was late for work and the gaffer asked him where he had been. Ayli: “I’ve been to ‘av me ‘air cut.” Gaffer: “In the firm’s time?” Ayli: “Well it grows in the firm’s time, doh it?” Gaffer: “It doh all grow in the firm’s time!" Ayli: “I day ‘av it all cut off !”

Now the search is on to compile some of the best jokes so that they can be kept safe and passed on to future generations.

Libraries all over the region want budding comedians to send in their best local jokes as part of celebrations in the run up to Black Country Day this Sunday.

The best jokes will then be posted on social media and the most popular joke will win £50 in tokens.

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The contest was launched by the Black Country Libraries in Partnership, which consists of Dudley, Sandwell, Walsall and Wolverhampton libraries. Several jokes have already been sent in, with many featuring the unique local dialect.

Cabinet member at Sandwell Council Councillor Bob Lloyd said he wanted to create a real taste of the humour that makes the Black Country special and that can be shared with the rest of the world. He said: “We hear a lot of funny stories around the local towns and it would be great to hear some of them in this competition. I would urge people to get involved – and have a bit of a laugh.”

A high number of the jokes submitted feature famous Black Country comedy duo Aynuk and Ayli.

They include: Ayli: “Yow’m lookin a bit sad. Aynock. Wot’s up?” Aynuk: “I just got a £20 fine fer avin no ticket on the train – but I got me own back. I bought a return ticket to Brum an I ay cummin back!!”

  • Reckon you can live up to the humour of Aynuk and Ayli? Send your best joke to mylibraryservice@wolverhampton.gov.uk. The deadline is Sunday. And don’t forget to keep them clean.
James Vukmirovic

By James Vukmirovic
Community Reporter - @jamesvukmirovic

Community Reporter at the Express & Star, helping under-represented communities to find a voice in Wolverhampton. Contact me at james.vukmirovic@expressandstar.co.uk.

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