Express & Star

Knightmare Live, Brierley Hill Civic Hall - review

'Where am I?' It is a question often asked by dungeoneers as they are faced with a new problem to solve in cult hit kids TV show Knightmare.

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It is also a question I was often asking myself while watching the madcap live stage adaptation that was spellbinding Brierley Hill Civic Hall.

It joyfully rips the premise of the TV show right out of the screen. An adventurer must don the 'Helm of Justice' – a knightly helmet that causes almost total blindness in its wearer as justice, itself, is blind. He also has a knapsack (cheers from crowd).

So his friends must guide him through a succession of rooms via microphones, leading them physically through instructions to walk, stop etc; informing them of what is before them and – in this case badly – warning them of imposing danger.

Dungeoneer Dana Meddings, from Dudley, trying to win the Eye Shield by striking a pose

All the while narration and tips are offered by the Dungeon Master, Treguard, who wants the adventurers' help to defeat his sworn enemy Lord Fear.

Does it make sense? Unless you watched the show, probably not. But that wouldn't have mattered anyway here because things got quickly out of hand and hilarious mayhem ensued.

It seems that the people of Brierley Hill are hard of hearing. For they couldn't seem to follow simple instructions barked at them by increasingly inebriated guides.

Treguard and Lord Fear trading insults in front of a crowd of nearly 400

They were flummoxed by goblins, cut apart by spinning blades and crushed by flying bricks as the crowd watched on through tears of laughter.

This must be what married life is like. An adventurer, male or female, blind, having instructions shouted at them by the ones they love and getting it all wrong. The consequences are dire in both cases.

As we delved deeper into the dungeon Lord Fear's traps got harder and more sinister and we lost more and more dungeoneers to their doom. Five in total, wasn't it? Five dead in our quest to find a non-stolen unicorn of eternal youth.

The cast, and dungeoneer Chris, take a bow at the end of the show

There were plus points. We saved a baby rabbit from death via a lack of potassium. And we also found out that dragons aren't the bar stewards popular culture would have us believe and they are, in fact, incredible dudes.

But it is safe to say Treguard won't be venturing up here again the next time he needs a problem solved. He might as well ask the (feather) cat.

This was a riotous laugh full of geeky references and a tick list of Knightmare clichés familiar to anyone who watched the original runs from 1987 to 1994.

'Where am I?' asks the next plucky adventurer. Absolutely no idea pal, sorry. I am too busy mourning the death of the nicest Viking in history. Oh yeah, that was the dungeoneers' fault too. We all really messed this one up didn't we.

By Leigh Sanders

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