Most comedians have their day and that’s it. Mine was a Saturday in July.
You may have missed it because all the punchlines were edited out . . . but I laughed like Rupert Pupkin when I tapped them on screen.
In the 1980s, Ben Elton was a comic genius, with classics like The Young Ones and various Blackadders to his name.
In the Brit-poppin’ pill-poppin’ 90s Chris Evans was the cutting edge king of TV, while the noughties revolved around Peter Kay and Ricky Gervais.
Well, Phoenix Nights vs The Office to be more specific. And I’m always going to be on the Northern side of that one.
But it’s been a bit quiet recently.
The new breed of BBC-approved comedians leave me colder than a penguin’s pecker. Russell Howard’s really good news is that I’m merely writing words on a page about him.
As opposed to having access to the hounds of hell I would like to unleash.
A similar fate awaits Jack Whitehall if ever I meet Lucifer down the Crossroads motel.
But now there’s a new player in town and, boy oh boyo, did he make me larf this week.
Step forward, Ed Miliband.
Oops, bit of politics, I know but anyone who saw his goofball performance at the Labour conference can see ‘a star is born’.
With a Rik Mayall gurn and Lee Evans bop, Milli Vanilliband was hilarious.
I laughed my Ed Balls off.
Now, let me say straight up; no, I’m not going to do the Wallace and Gromit thing (you just did – Ed) and this isn’t a party political deal.
No-one’s laughing at the Cameron and Clegg double act. The joke’s on us there.
But Ed caught my eye with some first-class ‘yuks’.
‘I’ll bring down your energy bills.’
‘I’ll pay off the deficit.’
‘FREE SEX FOR ALL!’
Obviously, he didn’t say that last one, but it’s got just as much chance of happening as the others.
And, hold onto your sides, buckle up and here we go: Ed . . . genuinely . . . wants to give schoolchildren the vote at 16.
Disaster looms. Has he forgotten the great Grange Hill uniform uprising of ’81?
I know about cradle to the grave, but what next? Hustings in maternity units?
Party political broadcasts on CBBC?
Hannah Montana for Cameron: ‘Labour isn’t twerking’.
Clearly a Labour lackie in the Thick of It department has worked out that young people may be more likely to vote Left.
Now some people say, if you don’t vote Labour at 20, you’ve got no heart. And if you don’t vote Conservative at 30 then you’ve got no brain.
It’s entirely up to you, but if you don’t vote at all, you can’t really moan.
Which is my main motivation.
But they’ll all let you down; in nearly 30 years of voting, I’ve never seen a single Monster Raving Loony Party policy introduced. I feel cheated.
So, a word of warning to Mr Ed; like many a political masterstroke, there’s every chance it will backfire.
After all, 16-year-olds aren’t stupid.
They’ll soon suss out that Ed wouldn’t be quite so in favour of giving them their say if he wasn’t pretty sure they’d vote for him.
And the free sex.