I have a crisis situation. Just admitting this makes me jittery. And it’s all to do with the dreaded ‘password’.
There, now you’ve gone to pieces too, haven’t you? Because I don’t mean just any old password, or even just the one password, I mean dozens of them. Some of which have different e-mail addresses to go with them.
All of which we are instructed never to write down – anywhere – but must always remember.
And then there is the multi-combo password, we must remember that as well. And with he fear of wrath from the Big Brother who ordains these matters, we do as we are told, or else.
Nothing else can get us in quite such a state.
If it’s just the password for your e-mail that’s not so bad because we use it all the time. Anything in regular use is going to be much easier to recall.
But the occasionals are a nightmare. You order something online and immediately get asked for an e-mail address and password. At such times, I didn’t even know I had one, so the chances of remembering it are zilch, nil, zero.
Next route then is to register as a newcomer – which you thought you were anyway – but of course the ‘system’ will not allow you such a luxury.
So then it offers a change of password if you can’t remember the one you didn’t know you had. Ok then, let’s go through the process.
Yippee! Ten minutes later it has accepted your password and surely, now it must be full steam ahead. So let’s get on with accessing whatever secret society you are trying to enter.
“Please insert your password” comes up again in red lettering, when you’ve actually just typed it in. The new one. The one it said it had accepted. The one it hadn’t now recognised. Are you at the weeping stage yet?
Oh and incidentally, it’ll be one of those websites which insists you don’t write your password down. Ever.
At this point I abandon whatever I was trying to do with the bossy advice not to use the names of pets, spouses, old adddresses, dates of birth ringing in my ears.
Got to go now, it’s time for my lie down. And anyway the computer’s just told me the hard disk has a problem. Right. What’s the password for disk problems?
Read Shirley Tart first in your Weekend Express & Star, every Saturday.