Valentine's Day: The how-to dating guide for date haters

Love is in the air, but not for everyone. If you're spending this weekend happily at home drinking tea, reading a book and settling in for dinner-for-one, then we salute you – that sounds divine. However, not everyone's up for a night in alone.

It's to our single friends that we really dedicate this dating guide. It's for all those hopeless romantics, the dreamers, the wish-upon-a-star-ers and those on the look-out for The One.

Maybe you can cut it out and hide it in the handbag of your single friend? Or perhaps you'll leave this page open on the coffee table at your single dad's house.

If you're already loved-up, then you might learn a thing or to from this guide too, if you can pull yourself away from the snuggling for long enough to read it.

1. The Romance Recce

So you want to get out-there. Where do you go?

One option is heading out to the local pub or getting involved in community events and groups. But even the most sociable of people will find that their pool of possible partners is limited.

Rachel Maclynn is a chartered psychologist and founder of the award-winning, global matchmaking agency The Vida Consultancy. A dating and relationship expert, Rachel's successful methods of in depth professional profiling have resulted in thousands of successful introductions.

She thinks that good matchmakers are more important than just 'right swiping' on apps.

"If anything it has provided enough comedy material to populate any drinks catch up with close friends, it's the cyber dating world. Does it remind you of the bar scene from Star Wars perhaps? Or does it take 23 cocktails for the cyber date to actually begin to appear like their profile picture? Let's face it you have to meet people in person to really feel the spark.

"This is why the very idea of having a personal professional and exclusive matchmaking service has become de rigeur for intelligent people. We take the time to get to know the candidate, really know them, and not just the completion of some random online survey. Then our approach to making the right introductions is one that is totally unique."

Our thoughts? Be open minded in your approach and honest with potential love interests. Most importantly though, be safe.

If you're meeting up with someone you don't know, let a close friend know where you're heading, when you expect to be back and keep them in the loop with a text when your date pops to the loo.

Don't arrange to meet at a house, in a remote spot or where you don't feel comfortable – stick to bars, coffee shops and populated areas. Not exactly the most romantic advice, but crucial tips nonetheless!

2. See you later, dater?

So you managed to bag that first date. Congratulations, you charmer!

If you really believe that this could be it, then you need to do your best to secure a second date.

Now, we know that it's easy to say 'just be yourself and it'll be fine', and truth be told, if life was that simple, we would just leave it at that. But sometimes nerves can get the better of you, and your best bits can be overshadowed by date stress.

As they say, nothing ever goes smoothly, especially the course of true love.

To help, we've caught up with Dani Waller from www.SpeedDater.co.uk, a love guru who has seen enough couples get together to know what you should (and shouldn't!) do to get that second date.

She says: "Be both interesting and interested. It's super important to ask your date questions and equally it is important for them to reciprocate. Getting to know your date will show that you're into them on more than just a 'Netflix and chill' level."

If you don't know what Netflix and chill means, we suggest Google. This is a family paper, after all.

If you really want this to go places, you've got to put the effort in. And this goes for ladies as well as men – dating etiquette has changed since the days of 'courting'.

"Ladies, you don't have to wait for them to ask you to go out again. We all want the guy to take charge like a modern day Mr Darcy but unlike Elizabeth Bennett, sometimes you just have to lead the way. If you want to see him again, tell him that! Chances are he'll be so flattered you had the courage to ask that he'll say yes."

And Dani's last (but certainly not least important) tip? "Don't talk with your mouth full, don't use your phone, don't use cheesy chat up lines or pick your nose. OK, the last one is a bit extreme but good manners are vital in securing a second date."

3. Problem Solving

So you've had a few bad dates and you've decided that your dating days are over. We think you should dust yourself off and get back on the horse, as it were. There are many dating hurdles that may have befallen you in the past, and with the help of the experts, we're hoping to free your mind!

DATING PROBLEM 1 – "They're not my type!"

Rachel Maclynn thinks this is nonsense.

She says: "Not your type? Men and women often have physical ideals about what they want out of a partner line-up. This is a prime reason why cyber world dating does not always work as it's often immediately predicated on a visual.

"When you have a matchmaker sifting through potential dating candidates, you may be surprised about how a spark can be ignited where you didn't think it was possible. Like everything in life you may have already made up your mind before you even try. I encourage you to try!"

DATING PROBLEM 2 – "It's like an interview!"

"Successful people often stride into dates with size 19 boots on and trample all over the flowerbed of opportunity by embarking on interview mode," Rachel warns.

"This often segues into rolling out your own success stats in an effort to impress, which in fact ends up becoming a heinous turn off. It takes some effort to recalibrate your dating questions to things that are more fun and non-confronting. There are coaches available to help you avoid turning your date into a job interview."

DATING PROBLEM 3 – Highlighting your faults

"It's a misconception to think that being humble and pointing out your oversized tummy, hips, receding hairline, or worse is going to be endearing," Rachel explains.

"Clearly you don't want to come across as an over confident braggart, but at the same time you need to show up to a date with the mind-set that you are a wonderful person and would be a fantastic catch for someone. Bring the best version of yourself to the date in a totally relaxed way and you will likely be much more appealing."

DATING PROBLEM 4 – Social media disasters

Have you taken a look at your Facebook profile online recently? What does it say about you? Are you proud of what you see, or do you think 'I hope no one sees this'?

Rachel thinks that you might need to think about how you're coming across.

"Any successful person worth their mustard these days is going to Google someone they are going to meet for a date. So does your account availability on Facebook lead to pictures of you draped over barmen in Ibiza, or clinging to a bottle of Corona and four bikini clad girls? The reality is you are who you are, but it's worth thinking about."

DATING PROBLEM 5 – Bad communication

This is more about asking yourself some soul searching questions.

Rachel says: "Is having your phone out on the table and checking it periodically for messages a way to indicate you are interested in someone else? Do you sit next to the person you are on a date with or create a barrier with a table between you? Do you talk negatively about past relationships, friends, work or family members? Perhaps you should think about fun and interesting questions to ask before you go on the date, rather than just winging it and showing up poleaxed?"