Milton Jones’ perfect weekend
Wednesday 27th April 2011, 1:33PM BST.
Comic Milton Jones is famous for his one-liners and is a regular on on Radio 4 and TV shows such as Mock The Week. He won the Perrier comedy award for best newcomer in 1996 and is billed as “Britain’s funniest Milton”. He shares a (slightly surreal) perfect weekend.
It’s Friday afternoon. What’s on your mind?
Jasmine.
Who normally has the pleasure of your company at the weekend?
Hundreds of strangers.
How do you prepare for a big night out?
Check: hair wax, shirt. Leave the house. Go back for trousers.
What’s your favourite dinner party outfit?
Once I went out dressed as a lasagne.
You’ve just arrived at the bar. What’s your first drink?
Tizer and ice.
What is your favourite nightspot and why?
Trafalgar Square. The pigeons can’t see you throwing bread so you don’t get through as much in the dark.
What tune always gets you on the dance floor?
He’s The Greatest Dancer.
It’s a sunny Saturday. What are you up to?
Keeping wasps. All the fun of bee-keeping without having to collect the honey!
What’s the recipe for a perfect night it?
Oh just some Sex In The City DVDs and some paraffin.
What’s your most memorable weekend ever and why?
Last weekend in Peterborough. It’s still fresh in my memory.
Favourite DVD? And what would you eat while watching it?
Babe. Bacon sandwich.
Sunday breakfast – cooked or continental?
Cooked by a continental .
Where and how do you like to relax?
In the bath with some toast. My Mum says I can take the toaster in with me next time.
You’ve got a whole weekend off and a wad of money in your back pocket – which country or city would you head to?
I’d definitely head to Manchester. And I’d use the money to help them rebuild it.
* Milton Jones plays Birmingham New Alexandra Theatre tomorrow, Shrewsbury Theatre Severn on Wednesday and Telford’s Oakengates Theatre on May 1.
* In addition to his radio, television and touring work, Milton also wrote the surrealist, partially biographical novel Where Do Comedians Go When They Die?: Journeys of a Stand-Up, which is available now.
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