Dating and mating habits have changed significantly since the late 19th century, if Ed Harris’s old-fashioned western is anything to go by.

Asked to extol the virtues of his sweetheart, one gunslinger gushes, ‘She dresses fine, she’s clean…

she chews her food nice.’ If you didn’t know better, he could be describing his trusty horse.

Women are at the emotional heart of Appaloosa, attracting love-struck men to their fate, and yet they must accept one of two destinies in this fiercely patriarchal society: lay flat on their backs and play the whore to every varmint who canters through town, or stay at home and don the apron of the dutiful wife.

If they are very lucky, they could be kidnapped and ravished by a band of murderous outlaws.

The dust settles in 1882, and a small New Mexico mining community under the thumb of ruthless, sadistic rancher Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons) and his men, who gun down anyone who dares to challenge their supremacy – even the local sheriff and his deputies.

In desperation, local businessmen Earl May (James Gannon), Phil Olson (Timothy Spall) and Abner Raines (Tom Bower) entreat city marshal Virgil Cole (Ed Harris) and his gun-slinging partner Everett Hitch (Viggo Mortensen) to restore peace to the district, using their trademark brand of tough justice to beat Bragg into submission.

Virgil and Everett’s heavy-handed tactics fail to scare Bragg, and they are only able to arrest him once a frightened ranch hand (Gabriel Marantz) agrees to testify that he witnessed the murder of the cold-blooded sheriff.

‘You keep your word and testify and I promise to get you out of here safely,’ says Virgil.

Then the city marshal falls under the spell of sassy piano player Allison French (Renee Zellweger), providing Bragg and his men with the perfect target to drive Virgil and his troublesome deputy out of town for good.

Adapted from Robert B Parker’s novel of the same name, Appaloosa ambles through similar dramatic terrain to Clint Eastwood’s Oscar-winning Unforgiven, only with a sappy love story supplanting the internal conflict and dissipating any dramatic tension, and Irons providing a poor substitute for Gene Hackman’s villainous scenery-chewing.

There’s a pleasing air of familiarity between Harris and Mortensen, especially when the deputy is gently probing about his friend’s burgeoning romance with Allison.

‘She’s a lovely woman and everything’s lovely between us,’ blushes Virgil, who is clearly more comfortable pulling triggers than ladies.

Zellweger is burdened with an incredibly unsympathetic heroine, who solidifies her position in the community by wooing the city marshal, then making a play for Everett too.

For the sake of keeping the cast alive as long as possible, almost no one can shoot straight, calling into question Virgil’s boast that, ‘I don’t kill people for a living, I enforce the law.

Killing is sometimes a by-product.’

• Release Date: Friday 26 September 2008
• Certificate: 15
• Runtime: 115mins