The sad world of cyber hackers

Thursday 28th August 2008, 6:45AM BST.

computer2.jpg Some nerds have so much time on their hands they can actually hack into Super Mario Kart on the Nintendo Wii, writes blogger Dan Wainwright.

I find this utterly absurd. The game is extremely addictive, especially as it allows you to race friends and complete strangers over the internet, removing all need to get out of your pyjamas to see anyone in person.

One of its particular charms is being able to compare the results of your time trials against the rest of geek-kind. But it seems that isn’t enough for some people.

Some ultra-losers have actually spent time cracking the various codes in their games consoles so that they can fix their times and appear at the top of the world rankings, having completed Donkey Kong’s snowboard level in less than two seconds.

It brings back the age old point of sportsmanship, that if you can’t win on your own merits there’s really no point in competing at all. These game hackers have not even had to risk the terrible side effects of steroids – the male breast growth or the failed urine tests – to reach the top.

And the Wii is not the only victim of the new generation of cyber hacker. While it is a sad fact of life that every time I open my emails I am offered fake Rolex watches and herbal ways of enhancing a certain part of my anatomy I don’t expect to find this sort of garbage on Facebook.

The social networking site is meant to be a safe little community where the only messages you receive are from your “friends”, or rather from a load of people you vaguely recognise from school who now want to tell you all about their lives and inflict upon you their pictures of themselves on yet another hen night, covered in flashing devil horns and L plates.

But instead I now find a series of sheepish messages from people I used to know apologising for offering me free videos of someone in Thailand “getting wild”.

It seems that nowhere is safe from the sad little men, and yes they’re always men, who have nothing better to do than find ways around the software designed to keep them out.

Hackers are inevitably people who were not very popular at school and were never invited to the parties. Frustrated at having no way to get in with the cliques they instead hide behind their computers and break into our online communities.

And I bet they’ve got hardly any friends on Facebook.


  1. 1
    Sharon Twill

    If there’s one thing sadder than someone hacking their Wii Mario Kart standings, it’s someone whining about it in a newspaper column.

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  2. 2
    Mark Little

    …football supporters are all load mouth drunken idiots, gamers are always men, GTA players want to kill everyone and journalists are all immoral and sensationalist.

    My suggestion Dan is that you stick to what you know and not start perpetuating stereotypes, “yes they’re always men” never heard such sexist comments.

    Report abuse

  3. 3
    Dave

    Still waiting to read something vaguely interesting in this blog…..

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  4. 4
    peter

    hackers have brought us some of the best and greatest security features on the internet in the world.

    why are you even writing about this?
    probably one of the poorest articles i have ever seen

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  5. 5
    Ian Lawley

    ‘hackers have brought us some of the best and greatest security features on the internet’ – I have never heard such rubbish. The need for security at the current level is simply a response to this misbehaviour, and the cost to business and the wider community as a result of the mindless and selfish trespass on other peoples’ property has been, and continues to be immense. The intrusion into gaming is where it starts, but ultimately public safety, personal liberty and privacy are all compromised by the sort of sick mind which believes that it is acceptable to impose their will upon others. Well done Dan – this issue needs to be debated.

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  6. 6
    peter

    have you not heard of linux?
    or open source?

    hackers have given us some of the greatest things in life – like verisign. google it.

    Ian, until you need to comprehend the fact that hackers, along with open source software, actually develop and enhance games and game-play as the users or ‘hackers’ can alter it in any way they want.

    I’m not defending hackers or condoning illegal activity, but the true fact is that having experienced hackers inevitably leads to higher security (particularity online, for example, microsoft (illegally) hires hackers to implement fake files on torrent or downalod sites to catch illegal downloaders. all that happens here is one user gets persecuted.

    when the end user is able to edit/hack a game, like the operating system linux, they are editing the software and maing it better. the only reason why companies paint out this ‘hacking’ to be so bad is that they won’t profit from it.

    This article should of gone in a different direction rather then pointing out that a few kids who want to cheat and get high scores. its doesnt work like that in exams ;)

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  7. 7
    chris

    Have to agree with peter most security experts are so-called hackers and they work for institutions like the NSA and FBI They are also responsible for great systems like linux and even input into windows. I am in the I.T industry and find some great information on hackers web sites. Lets also get one thing straight-people who invent the hacking tools very rarely use them for ill gains,and they are programmers who do it for fun. It’s the kiddy scripters who cause the agro who invent crappy viruses and send out false security information.

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  8. 8
    adam

    “This article should of gone in a different direction” – should have! oh how i weep for language. I really don’t think the term “hacker” is appropriate for someone who works for the NSA. And surely a better term for people who find and improve the flaws is beta testers. Hackers are those only out to cause harm surely?

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  9. 9
    adam

    Peter – “probably one of the poorest articles i have ever seen” – you clearly need to read more. Unlike most nationals at least Dan uses grammar and spelling at the level it deserves.

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