Express & Star

TV review: A SuperScrimpers Christmas

'Tis the season to be thrifty fa la la la la, la la la la, so with penny pinching tighter than Jo Brand's leggings, it is only appropriate that the household Christmas spend for 2012 is a little more, well, restrained.

Published

Now, no one wants to be a miser, and this programme didn't go out of its way to encourage a contest to find the next Ebenezer Scrooge – not in every instance at least.

Some of the ridiculous ideas peppered throughout were frankly risible. For example, how many of you will be scrubbing at your lips with an old toothbrush or vaselining your hair to stop the frizz? No, I thought not.

With top scrimper Mrs Moneypenny at the helm, the team came up with a bundle of whacky tips.

A necklace from a cereal box, oh dear me, please no. That is a scrimp too far. Actually, I spoke too soon. A dear old lady went to great length to show us how to make Christmas crackers, with toilet roll tubes in abundance and coloured paper from a craft shop, I am sure that if you calculated the cost of all the elements you would still be as well buying them.

And no, no, no to paper hearts on a string as garlands. Cheapskates.

Worst of all though, transforming used lightbulbs into tree decorations. Aaaagh. By the time you've bought the sweets for the orange foil that makes the bulb snowman's nose, white paint and black marker pen you could have bought a tree full of decorations from a budget store.

But my real problem with all this faff is that handmade gifts should be left in the mitts of children. Items made at school are cute from a six-year-old, but please, no Blue Peter-esque ideas for adults to try.

I am still rather fond of the abstract piece one of my children produced a few years back. A lump of clay with twigs and tinsel is much appreciated – in the right context. Or maybe even a future Turner Prize winner?

For the better off out there, the Duchess of Rutland was able to show how the other half scrimp. Save on heating your castle by wearing a coat. Buy posh frocks second hand. Don't throw clothes away – have them altered. Wear designer labels wisely – over and over again.

Surprisingly, the programme was rather anti-online shopping. The internet is often considered to be a megastore for the thrifty shopper, but the show was at pains to unveil cases involving counterfeit goods and fraud aplenty.

However, the best tips came in the form of creating a festive feast, with a little help from a 'pop music legend'.

Dean Michael, of Black Lace fame, once commanded £6,000 a night at the height of the novelty act's success.

With 1980s hits such as Superman and The Conga he was raking it in. These day's Dean's not agadooing so well and it's time to tighten the purse strings.

Dean and wife Karen blew around £5,670 last Christmas – yes, £5,670 – including £600 on food and drink.

For last night's show, the couple was challenged to feed 20 friends and family – starter, main, pud and punch – for £50.

Scrimper Nicolette helped Dean do a not-so big shop. By avoiding multi-buys, and simply buying what is needed, sticking to a list, the 'musician' pulls off a rather tasty looking feast.

Dean's buffet goes down a treat and cost just £44.66.

Now that was a superscrimp.

I am sure the producers meant well with the seasonal scrimping, but I noted that advertisements during commercial breaks included those for expensive perfume, online marketplaces, ready made gravy, frozen roast potatoes and sparkly High Street fashion.

Thankfully, not a cereal box, scissors, glue or ribbon in sight.

Paul Naylor

Sorry, we are not accepting comments on this article.