Christmas in temporary recruitment . . . Aggh!

Christmas in temporary recruitment, let's sum it up . . . writes Charlie Cashdan.

My staff don't get colds, they get flu.

My staff don't get sore throats, they get tonsillitis or ulcerated tonsils, both of which are so severe that they still can't return to work after a whole course of antibiotics.

They don't get a temperature, they get a fever.

No tickly coughs, just bronchitis or chest infections which involve hospitalisation for anything up to three weeks.

No general pains, but sciatica, frozen shoulders.

Relatives don't get a bit poorly, they have strokes, pneumonia, get hospitalised, need round-the-clock care so my staff cannot possibly leave them to come to work.

Busses and trains aren't late in the snow, they are cancelled. For the whole day.

The snowy roads aren't difficult, they are impossible, treacherous. Staff can't possibly get to work.

I don't have tonsillitis, just a bad throat, it will clear up if I just carry on.

I don't have a temperature, just a bit hot with the office heating on full blast.

I don't ache, just feel a bit rough, all will be fine.

The snow for me isn't that bad; I'll just trudge through it on foot to the station then spend two hours getting to work. I'll be there, don't worry.

My mother's dementia is fine, all under control. I'll be in work, won't need any time off, don't worry about me.

Staff sickness and non-attendance costs us thousands of pounds and we have to just put up with it, but if I was sick on wages day and they didn't get paid, what would happen then?