As mentioned elsewhere on this blog, I am less than convinced of the merits of owning a dog, writes our Grumpy Old Man Bill McCarthy.

But each to their own, my daughter had a labrador for 11 years. It died recently and to say she was upset would be an understatement. She called it her first baby, buying it before she had the children.

She was devastated when it died, missing, she said, the companionship. She even had it cremated and kept the ashes.

But companionship? The beast produced more waste  than a large hotel, but at least she was a responsible owner and cleaned up after it.

Not so other sly, sneaky and irresponsible owners who, once out of the public eye, treat the streets like they are open sewers.

There are a number of alleys in our estate  and if  you were not sharp eyed, you would be slipping and sliding through a pile of mess, which judging by the size of the  deposits, were  left by dogs the size of shire horses. These public rights of way  make a farmyard look clean and sterile.

Their owners go out with their scoopers and plastic bags, but it’s all for show, unless the dog doesn’t play ball and is caught short.

These selfish cretins should be locked up for putting public health at risk as well as despoiling the streets.

And if that is not an option, how about treating the owners like they treat their pets when they foul the house? Take  them to the offending pile and rub their noses in it.

At least the animals don’t know any better.

*****

On the subject of waste, the re-launch of the so-called Big Society, or BS, was delivered by David Cameron  to widespread indifference and ridicule, and that’s from many of his own colleagues.

The level of derision over this flagship policy is spreading rapidly throughout the country and was put sharply into focus when a colleague, making a cup of tea for co-workers, described it as a contribution to the Big Society.

What really irritates me about these smarmy politicians, who rarely practise what they preach, is that millions already contribute their time voluntarily.

These are not just charity  and aid workers whose budgets are to be axed, but those who help at the local Brownies, Scouts or Beavers, help out housebound pensioners or disabled people with shopping and cleaning, or run sports teams, like yours truly,  to keep youngsters off the streets.

It’s no fun having football training with seven and eight-year-old when its brass monkeys in the middle of February. You only have to pick up a copy of the Express & Star to read about this kind of volunteering.

The last thing we need are condescending toffs to tell us we must do more. BS is well named.