Madeley diaries: No such thing as a free meal

There is no such thing as a free meal as Albion’s players found out in messy fashion here in Holland.

The Baggies squad thought all their Christmases had come at once when they arrived for an evening meal to find a selection of ‘binge food’ on offer.

But they discovered the following morning that there was a steep price to pay.

The selection of fish, chips and pizza on offer in their hotel buffet was designed merely to sweeten the pill of the morning session which ended with the entire squad looking shattered.

But there was one man who didn’t mind the extra work - pizza fan and captain Jonathan Greening was happy just to get his chops around a few slices of deep pan.

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Yesterday’s session was so gruelling, in fact, that the Albion players missed the chance to mingle with the well turned out guests at two sets of nuptuals.

A pair of weddings rolled in to the Baggies’ team hotel near Venlo yesterday lunchtime and one of the couples requested a picture with Tony Mowbray’s squad to help them remember their big day.

But they had to wait for a few hours until the players had slept off the fatigue from their early-morning workout.

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Goalkeeping coach Joe Corrigan has been a leading player in much of the mickey-taking all week so he had to take some revenge on the chin… well, actually it was on the top of the head.

The big man suffered a mishap as he was walking out of the team hotel through a gatehouse, leaving him seeing stars. He dropped the package he was carrying, stooped and caught it and stood up straight, whacking his head on a low door frame.

The incident left him nursing a nasty cut to the crown of his head but there was no lasting damage and precious little sympathy from he players.

“That’s made my day,” said captain Greening.

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Diminutive young defender Jared Hodgkiss has been taking stick all week for his lack of height.

And the ribbing reached a crescendo at the dinner table when a waitress arrived declaring she had a package for the Birmingham-born right-back. The gift inside the box was a pair of football boots bearing his squad number of 16 - in a size two.

The man behind the gag was goalkeeper Dean Kiely.

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Injured midfielder Robert Koren was forced to watch training yesterday from the clubhouse of Sportclub Venlo.

But he was kept amused by journalists showing the youtube clip of German midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger having his interview after the Euro 2008 interview gatecrashed. For those who haven’t seen it, it is a must see.