The Madeley diaries: WBA on tour

It’s official. Goch’s got talent. Remember the name Georg van den Hoovel, because it is only a matter of time before a talent scout hands him his big break.

When Albion began their pre-season programme with a friendly in the German border town of Goch, Georg was chosen as the public face of Allsport, the agency who arranged the match.

Imagine Paul O’Grady with Bertie Wooster’s dress sense, Bertie Vogts’ voice and a penchant for cigars.

Resplendent in blue and white striped jacket, our host conducted a stage-managed media conference more in keeping with the World Cup final than a mid-July friendly.

It was all done with the sparkle of a 1980s gameshow host. The toe-curling episode lasted for more than 10 minutes, complete with inaudible translations from Georg, all of which left poor Tony Mowbray looking baffled.

It wasn’t all plain sailing for Borussia Monchengladbach either. The Bundesliga new boys left a trail of damage behind them at the Hubert Houben Stadion, after the rear of their team bus struck a gate.

The vehicle was jammed for several minutes and only some innovative steering from the red-faced driver worked it clear.

Back in Holland, the Express & Star has gone up the world. After two nights of sleep disturbed by kitchen staff washing, drying, stacking and, from the sound of things, breaking crockery directly beneath our rooms, photographer David Hamilton and yours truly asked to be relocated.

Pity the poor soul who was allocated my old room later in the day… step forward Albion club photographer Laurie Rampling.

Mowbray has admits he was never the most polished of players. Leon Barnett found that out in training.

The boss tried an ambitious one-legged ‘scorpion kick’ to block a ball heading for him and Barnett. He missed by a mile, leaving the centre-back to collect the ball squarely in the nose.