In 2008, a woman’s place is in the know

The perfect wife should put a ribbon in her hair, have a delicious meal ready for her husband’s return, and should not question him if he stays out all night. And she should also know her place.

“You must be joking!” I hear our female readers scream. This advice was according to the infamous Good Wife’s Guide, which was allegedly published by “Housekeeping Monthly” in 1955.

It set the benchmark for what was expected in an ideal wife, giving tips to women such as to plan meals the night before, and to minimise all noise when husband returned home. Not to mention arranging his pillow and offering to take off his shoes.

The guide has made the news this week as it’s been used as a template for a housewife survey celebrating the Ideal Home Show’s centenary.

But critics believe that the article is a recently created hoax made to poke fun at life in the 50s - its picture seems to have originated in 1957 and is credited to a library set up in 1989, and the monthly magazine is dated May 13, rather than just May.

But even if it was made up, it still causes today’s housewives to laugh out loud at the thought of acting in this way.

Fifty years on, the new survey asks men what they look for in their ideal woman today, and thankfully it finds a lot of things have changed.It seems the perfect wife in 2008 is a good cook but is happy to stand up to her man.

While women’s traditional role as housekeeper may have moved on over the past 50 years, almost half of the men questioned (48 per cent) say that being able to cook was the most important skill a woman could have.

But while a compliant and submissive wife was expected back in post-war days, modern men actually respect a woman who will stand up to them, with 59 per cent rating it as an important feature of their relationship.

Another progression since the 1950s is that two-thirds of the men questioned say they appreciate women with a head for figures, with 69 per cent saying they wanted a wife who could manage the family finances for them.

An example of a piece from the supposed article of the 50s is: “Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.”

The Ideal Home Show’s modern take on the guide, however, also gives women a chance to put their point of view across, as the survey compares what women think their partners expect from them with what they actually want, and often showed that opinions differed vastly.

Reality

Women may be surprised at men’s attitudes to housework. Although a total of 65 per cent of women say they think men expect household chores to be left to them, almost three-quarters of men say they believe they should be shared equally, with 84 per cent saying they do not mind pitching in. Whether this is actually what happens in reality remains to be seen.

The survey also shows that more than half of men still expect to be able to go out with their friends and come home late without their partners complaining, as 57 per cent of men say spending time in the pub with their friends is still of the utmost importance to them.

Some things will never change.