Train adventures and actor envy

Commuting to work by train is an experience full of woe, writes blogger Charlie Cashdan.

Myself and fellow commuters from my little town are a captive audience because the traffic is so bad that it would take hours to drive into Birmingham where we all work and the parking would be so expensive that we are left with no other viable alterative.  

The train operators seem to know this and understand that no matter how much they charge or how badly they herd us around in their dirty antiquated cattle trucks we will keep coming back for more.  

To further add insult, I pay £116 a month for this so called service!

I have been travelling along the same line, in various directions, for about ten years now and nothing really improves despite fares going up by eye watering amounts.  

The morning train that should get me in work on time is ALWAYS late, so I have to catch one three quarters of an hour earlier and arrive at work half an hour before I need to because it’s this or be late for work every day through no fault of my own.  

The earlier train is also ALWAYS late, so much so that most people turn up to catch it at least five minutes after it is due to arrive because that’s how much you can rely on it’s lateness.

Every morning I stand there on the weather beaten platform without proper shelter, huddled under my umbrella in the dark with gusty wind and driving rain welcoming me to yet another day at work.  In such conditions, waiting an extra 10-15 mins for a train feels like a lifetime!

When it finally arrives, the carriages are dirty and the toilets most unpleasant.  I had the misfortune of using one the other day and not only was the flush broken and the toilet bowl full of previous faeces, the door wouldn’t open properly when I tried to get out and I had to push them apart, dramatically breaking free, terrified at the prospect of being stuck in there with my own wee and everyone else’s!

On Friday we only had two carriages, for a really busy commuter train, so the aisles were rammed with people standing and elbows in faces.  Catch it on a Saturday morning when there is one old couple, two students and a dog, and there will be carriages galore!  And it will be on time!

My train home is also ALWAYS late but on Thursday it was actually ready on time catching a few of us by surprise.  

We ran to the doors, clearly in sight of the guard, and he literally shut the door in our face angrily blowing his whistle and shouting.  The person in front of me got on but as I climbed aboard the doors actually shut on me trapping me between them like ham in a sandwich. 

I literally had to push them apart to get on and avoid being crushed.  

I launched myself into the carriage, which was packed, to much embarrassment and stood jammed against lots of sweaty bodies like a sardine in a tin.  

If the train is late, we rarely ever even get an apology, but if we only just make it, they are so cross and shut the door on us!  Is it me, or is that a bit unfair?

Then I had loads of work calls (I know fellow commuters hate this but it’s not as if I’m gassing away to my mates and if I didn’t do calls on the train I’d be stuck in the office all night!) I was standing packed in with folder in one hand, phone in the other, bags falling open at my feet with people standing on them and sweat trickling down my back thinking, I pay for this!

Then a girl overheard my conversation offering someone work and accosted me for a job!  

On the subject of jobs, I’ve been following the story in the news about Isaac Blake, an actor who had to wear a costume for the children’s show In The Night Garden and claims to have been injured by it and bullied by colleagues.  

As I was once a professional actor I couldn’t help listening to all his complaints and still thinking “My God, a regular acting job for the BBC!  Where do I sign?!”  

I would have risked injury and insult, in fact many struggling actors would probably have happily given up a limb or two to don the costume of doom and be able to put BBC on their CV.  

Even though I’m quite happy (sort of!) to have put all that behind me now, I couldn’t help but think, now that he’s been fired do they need anyone else??

Agree with Charlie? Post your comments below.