Motty at career Crossroads

As most of you will now be aware Old Trafford hosted yet another embarassing performance on Saturday.

By the end of 90 minutes I could cheerfully have torched the TV.

And as usual I was left asking the same old question.

Why, oh why, does the BBC continue inflicting John Motson’s commentary on the viewing public?

Watching England can be a depressing enough experience without having to put up with the Sheepskinned One’s stream of unconsciousness.

On Saturday he persisted in creating the impression that Macedonia were little more than footballing midgets who had just climbed off a boat without a pair of shin-pads to rub together.

So we were forced to listen as Motson pointed out with a hint of wonder that “they don’t seem overawed by the occasion.”

What? Professional footballers, most of whom ply their trade outside their home country, perfectly at home playing a big game in front of a big crowd?

Well paint me blue and call me Eric.

Then as it became increasingly obvious the visitors were going to hold England to a draw Motty claimed that result was “not exactly on he cards.”

Now hang on a minute. Was this the same Macedonia who held us to a 2-2 draw the last time they came to England?

The very same team we only narrowly defeated in Skopje last month?

So why was a draw so unthinkable to Motty?

To cap it all he then commented that Macedonia would celebrate as if they “had won the World Cup,” if the scoreline remained goalless.

Well, I concede they were pretty happy but maybe, just maybe, this result wasn’t as big a shock to the Macedonians as it was to the Sheepskinned One.

Maybe their previous results against us, and the fact their team contained players visibly more technically proficient than ours, meant they actually began the afternoon genuinely believing a draw was “on the cards.”

These not-so-subtle nuances escaped Motson who views football as if it were still 1952.

In Motty World smaller nations are apparently just happy to tread the same turf as England.

Anything better than a damn good spanking at the hands of Eng-er-land is unthinkable for these wide-eyed innocents abroad.

In fact they should actually be forced to play the entire 90 minutes tugging their forelocks and maintaining a respectful five-yard gap between themselves and their more illustrious opponents.

Maybe the Beeb should go the whole hog and start broadcasting England games in black and white again to make Motty feel even more at home.

And surely it would be right and proper for Steve McLaren to start picking that nice Mr Finney up front again.
With every passing year the nonsense with which Motty pollutes the airwaves becomes ever more intolerable.

Yet Aunty Beeb seems to view him as some kind of national institution.

Well, to a degree he may be - but then again so are bad weather and clogged roads.

In fact, Motson reminds me a bit of Crossroads.

That too was something of an insitution - owing to how terrible it was.

But eventually someone had the good grace to axe it.

The time has surely come for the Beeb to put Motty - and us - out of our misery.

Andy Toft is the Express & Star’s video journalist and was formerly the paper’s West Bromwich Albion reporter.

Send us your views on Andy’s blog here

Your views:
“Couldn’t agree more with Andy’s comments regarding Motty’s attitude towards Macedonia. Motty’s views were echoed around the media unfortunately, including Sky Sports and national radio stations, who all seem to forget our results against them since breaking from the former Yugoslavia – a deserved away win, a home draw and recently a lucky away win. Hardly minnows, are they? It may be a cliche but there are very, very few easy international matches these days. Many ‘smaller’ nations employ foreign coaches from respected footballing countries who work on technique often superior to ours, and they make it extremely difficult for their teams to be beaten. I think England will qualify from their group but we need to be prepared to drop 3 or 4 more points in doing so.” Gareth Ralph, Willenhall, West Midlands

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